I saw Fishbone last evening, and enjoyed myself very much. They weren't the headliner, apparently; Kings X was. But it worked out good, as I was tired and had to work this morning, so I was able to leave after Fishbone and get home at a decent hour. Fishbone still had a lot of energy in their performance, and of course any band with a theremin is instantly cool. Opened with "Party at Ground Zero," and peaked with a cover of Curtis Mayfield's "Freddie's Dead." I'm not really familiar enough with their work to identify much else that they played, but it was a fun show. Before "Ma and Pa," Angelo Moore remarked something about how it looked like a lot of mas and pas got a babysitter that evening; the crowd definately skewed older than I expected. But Fishbone was sounding as fresh as ever.

I did get home in time to see some of Adult Swim, new episodes of Home Movies and Harvey Birdman: Attorney at Law. Neither was particularly exciting, though Home Movies had its moments. I taped the rest, so I'll have to watch Sealab: 2021 and Aqua Teen Hunger Force tonight.

My favorite...Tom the Dancing Bug's Super Fun Pak Comix. I believe a membership is required, or you can view some ads for a one-day pass...I'd have to say Tom the Dancing Bug and the K Chronicles are the whole reason I subscribe.

More trouble at the Times.

In reading the latest issue of "Pants," a newsletter dedicated to Randy Newman, I learned that the re-issue of Randy Newman's Faust, which includes an excellent demo album, has sold a whopping 486 copies in its first two months of release. I blame the marketing of it, and an indifferent press; I consider myself a rather rabid fan, and was unaware of its existence until a week or two after it was released. I highly recommend it; if you had an opportunity to see the musical performed, the demo disc will take you back; if not, you can imagine what it would have been like (since its unlikely you'll ever have a chance to see it live). I'm not a huge fan of demos (if I had it to do over, I probably wouldn't have bought Good Old Boys again), but in this situation, the demos add a lot to one's appreciation of the work.

The Onion weighs in on Jayson Blair.

Went to Viejas with my mother after school today. Took a beating, at both poker and blackjack. So it goes.

I had my last mid-term in econ today. I tried to study for it using the study guide CD-ROM last night, but it turns out the bookstore gave me the wrong disc with my book, I got the macroeconomics disc, but its the microeconomics textbook. Sad thing is, I used the CD-ROM to study for the first mid-term, and didn't notice the problem. Anyway, don't think I did particularly well, but sure I did well enough to squeak by.

I finished reading Wigfield, and must say I was disappointed. As much as I love both Amy Sedaris and Stephen Colbert, the book was rather boring. It keeps beating the same points over and over, and it never amounts to much. Basically, its the story of a collection of squatters, trying to create a town so they can get relocation funds when the dam which towers over them is destroyed. Or more accurately, its the story of a literary fraud, trying to document the plight of these shit-kickers in order to produce the opus on the death of small-town America he promised his editor. The town, with its wide array of strip clubs and random murders, seems to have been derived from a Daily Show sketch regarding a tax-shelter of a town, whose very existence was threatened by a mayor who wished to dissolve it. It's hard for this work of fiction to live up to the reality of that town, though.

The book is largely made up of profiles of the town's residents, telling their story in their own words. Some of these are hilarious (Burchal Sawyer, one of the three men who claims to be mayor, is a personal favorite of mine), but they all seem to fall into one of two or three types, and they get repetitive. The photos that accompany these testimonials, however, help give the characters some gravity, a white-trash charisma that is compelling; Todd Oldham's photography (with the three authors posing as all the characters) is the one aspect of the book I can recommend whole-heartedly. I think the main problem is, the book doesn't work as a book. As the photographs imply, the characters might be more compelling if the brilliant Sedaris, Colbert, and Paul Dinello were bringing them to life. In fact, their wonderful web site has sound clips of their characters, and lists a schedule for a stage version of the book, which I can only imagine will be much better than the book itself. The book has some great moments, but I can't really recommend it.

Did you see Conan yesterday? Jim Carrey and Stephen Hawking doing an act together, a sight to behold.

I'm linking to this biography of Takeshi Kitano, so I can find it tomorrow at work to read. Beats studying for Friday's econ mid-term.

I see the ads for new episodes of my favorite Adult Swim programs this Sunday. Should be exciting. Haven't seen Home Movies in awhile. I'll have to tape it, though, since I won't be home.

Here is the New York Observer's interview with Jayson Blair, as well as one with his agent.

Working at the aquarium, as opposed to the movie theatre, I've gotten the feeling that I've moved a bit further away from a customer service-oriented profession, just a bit. It's still an issue, but not as much as it was before. Then I answered the phone yesterday. Crazy, annoying woman who wanted me to tell her how we could train her to save the ocean without her going to school. She didn't like school, because she's half-Hungarian and her professors were racist, and why should you have to go to school to save the oceans? So she called a college to help her with this. And she ranted on and on. Which wouldn't have been too bad, had she not begun the conversation by informing me that she was a volunteer, did not get paid, which made her time more valuable than mine, some jackass who is paid to answer the phone. I had been in the building about thirty seconds at this point, so I just shook it off, didn't want to start my day off by chewing someone out and hanging up on them. But what the hell is wrong with people that they think saying some shit like that will make anyone want to help them? I expect that attitude from the rich La Jollans I served at the movie theatre, but why would an unemployed, uneducated person think such claims are going to be received as anything other than evidence that this person is a complete waste of space? Anyway, it really pissed me off, to an extent I don't think anyone really had at the aquarium before.

I won tickets to see Fishbone Sunday. I didn't even know Fishbone still was around. Should be interesting. They're apparently playing with some metal groups, which seems somewhat an odd combination.

I missed the final episode of Dawson's Creek. Jen dies, apparently. I would have liked to see that.

Jason Blair speaks out. The article this refers to is on the New York Observer's web site, but I couldn't get through to it. I'm also glad to hear he's pursuing book deals, it sounds like he can tell his story with a lot more spine than Stephen Glass.

The Prelinger Archives feature some interesting "ephemeral" films, like the Coronet educational videos. Fun stuff.

A rather odd exercise in karaoke.

I appologize for my silence over the week, had trouble motivating myself to do much of anything. I missed work on Thursday and school Friday, a bit under the weather. I did manage to get out and do stuff on Saturday, went kayaking in the bay. I'm feeling a bit more energetic today, hopefully I'll get a nice run in after work, and be my old energetic self for the rest of the school year.

I got invited to Spago's of Beverly Hills by a Vegas casino. I'm a little unclear what it is, a cocktail party, apparently. But I don't understand if I'll just be mingling, or if there is some sort of presentation, or what. It'll be interesting to see, though, and it'll be a blast to go to Spago's and feel like an A-list person. I think I'm going alone, a few people have expressed interest in being my guest, but I figure it'll be easier to pretend I belong their alone, than with some low-class friend of mine. Of course, a designated driver would be nice. But I'm more interested in the food than the drinks, anyway. And building up a relationship with my casino host...I'd rather not divulge the casino sponsoring the event, but it is a very, very nice casino I have stayed at twice, really enjoying my stay both times. I'll be sure to recommend it here on another occasion.

I purchased my tickets to see Weird Al Yankovich at the Fair. I went ahead and got the dinner package, since once you pay for parking and fair admission, its not that much more to get a nice meal and the best seats (second row, slightly off-center). I don't know how excited I should really be to see Weird Al, but I've heard from many people he puts on quite a show. And being friends with an ex-girlfriend of the man (as featured on VH-1's "Driven"), I would feel wrong not catching the kick-off show of his new tour (and seeing him perform the Eminem song he has been prohibited from making a video for).

I enjoyed Neal Pollack's take on the New York Times scandal. Funny, though a bit disturbing in its accuracy.

From the New Yorker to the big screen! (I think you need to be a subscriber to access this)

NY Times reporter busted.

An amusing (if somewhat patronizing in tone) article regarding the lost art of (bad) liner notes.

So, my official time for the Dr. Seuss Race for Literacy was 36:11 (I saw 36:10 when I crossed the finish line). Works out to a 7:17 pace for the 8K course. After being unsatisfied with my performance at Carlsbad, I was happy with my performance. Not so much my time, which was decent, but with how I felt on the course, held a steady pace, and actually managed to run a negative split, which I don't think I've done in a race before. I just wanted to beat an 8-minute pace, which I did easily from the get-go. First mile in 8 minutes, which is very good considering this is a very popular event and the start was rather slow (they put up huge pace signs so the faster runners will be ahead of the walkers, and there's a huge banner in the back announcing where the walkers should be, and still there are idiots in front of me walking...one woman was walking backwards, no doubt looking for her friends who knew how to read...I mean, its the race for literacy, what sort of example are you setting? but I digress...). I was probably about a 7:40 pace most of the way, and once I got off the 163 into downtown and knew I was near the end, I kicked it up a notch, running the last mile at about 6:00 pace. There were bands playing along the route in downtown, which helped. The bluegrass group, in particular, gave me some nice motivation. Wish I knew their name. Anyway, if I had any disappointment, its that I felt good enough at the end that I know I could've shaved at least a minute off that time, easily. But I'm happy with how it went, and now I'm ready to prepare for a strong showing at my next 5K, at the end of the month. And I'm happy that I helped the Council on Literacy. I picked up info while there on volunteering, I've been thinking about doing that for some time; perhaps this Summer I'll make some time. Dyslexia runs in the family (it practically gaollps), so it would be a nice gesture in return for my fortune in being relatively unscathed by it.

I watched the first two episodes of The Singing Detective on Saturday. I'll comment more on it once I've watched the whole thing, but I must say I was blown away. Not what I was expecting, I thought the writer in the hospital was more a sub-plot to the film-noir murder mystery, but in fact the film, or at least the first part, is much more a psychological profile of the writer, struggling with a debilitating and humiliating skin disease, with the mystery story and Tin Pan Alley songs being utilized bizzarly but effectively. A scene in the first episode, when Marlowe opens up to his doctors in a profoundly moving act of honesty and vulnerability, to be met with a rendition of "Dem Bones," is powerfully stunning. I don't know when I'll be able to make enough time to see it all (let alone listen to the audio commentary and watch the accompanying documentary), but I'll post more comments once I have. Suffice it to say, I highly recommend it.

Speaking out on the Dixie Chicks.

An Open Letter To Those Of You Who Blew Off My Arbor Day Party.

Forgive my neglect of this forum; I'll try to post more frequently in the future. Not a whole lot to share, though. I've been listening to the soundtrack album for A Mighty Wind. It's good, but some of the songs, especially those of the New Main Street Singers, are a bit painful. It is interesting, though, that many of the songs on the CD are much more blatantly humorous than those included in the film. I think Christopher Guest et al should be commended for selecting the more subtle songs they included in the movie, and again going against the notion that they need to constantly remind the audience of the joke. The CD isn't perfect, but to finally have a copy of "Blood on the Coal" to call my own is a small dream come true.

In other CD comments, I'm currently listening to Ry Cooder's Paradise and Lunch, and would recommend it highly. In preperation for Lyle Lovett's upcoming show, The Road to Ensenada has been getting a lot of play in my car's stereo. When I first heard it, I thought Ensenada was a sub-par album, I thought it was too full of throw-away novelty songs, but there is a lot more depth to it than I first acknowledged.

Of course, now that I got my tickets to Randy Newman, I should finally listen to the bonus disc in the re-release of Randy Newman's Faust. I'm going up to my sister's in San Jose, and seeing him while I'm there. I'm planning on making a week of it, but I haven't decided what I'll be doing after the concert. Yosemite was my first thought, but in August, it might be a bit too crowded. I was thinking of going to San Francisco or Santa Cruz, where I know people, but I wanted to do something outdoorsy, camping and hiking. Whatever I come up with, though, it should be fun; it will be nice to have a non-Vegas vacation.

School is going well. Got 100% on my econ mid-term. I think my lit midterm went well; maybe I'll find out Monday. Work is uneventful. They hired a parking attendant, which should make parking more bearable for us as a business. I'm concerned my days of free parking may be numbered, if they change the way they deal with member permits. But that's okay. I'm beginning to get back into the swing of things with my running; tomorrow is the Dr. Seuss Race for Literacy, it should be a good indication of how I'm doing. As long as I can complete the 8K course, I'll be happy. I figure my goal is simply to beat my 45 minute time from my last 10K, that should be eminently doable.

I'm thinking back on the last week, and there really wasn't much worth mentioning here. I'll try to post more regularly, before I forget what I've been up to. Tonight, I'm just staying in, taking it easy before tomorrow's race. My plan is to either read, or watch The Singing Detective, which I recently received after pre-ordering months ago.

In keeping with the Beat Takeshi theme, I watched A Scene at the Sea last night. It was an interesting film, but I did not care for it as much as his other films, probably because he was not in it. His stone-faced expressions seem to make the slow, languid pace more bearable. Kuroudo Maki, who stars in this film as the deaf garbageman who becomes a surfer, is good, but remains too far removed. Which is intentional, Kitano makes every effort to remind the viewers, by means of distant camera placement and very little dialogue, that they are outsiders looking in on a world which will remain foreign to them. It was a beautiful film at times, and the quietness was refreshing, to a degree. But the ending, which should not be a huge surprise in light of his other films, left an emptiness that works in most Kitano films, but did not seem to suit this story. It's an interesting film, but I don't know that I'd recommend it.

I have to go running after work today. I've really had a tough time finding time and energy to run and exercise. The Dr. Seuss Race for Literacy is next Sunday, and knowing how I did in Carlsbad, I'm not sure if I can really turn in a respectable time at an 8K distance, unless I get back to running, now. I did get in two nice runs last week, but with everything going on, its been too easy to skip a few here and there, and once you start skipping, its hard to stop. But today I feel good, I should get a nice run in, no problem.

Christopher Hitchens Forcibly Removed From Trailer Park After Drunken Confrontation With Common-Law Wife.

Harsh Light of Morning Falls On One-Night-Stand's DVD Collection.

Seeing Beat Takeshi being exploited on TNN the other night made me think about Battle Royale. Columbine made it rather difficult for a film about high school students fighting to the death to find an American distributor. But I did find a DVD which would play in my DVD player (most were region 3 only, or were in the PAL format) at HKFlix.com (the link takes you to a different DVD than the one I purchased, but which I just now found, but which is also apparently completely USA-DVD player-compatible). They shipped it to me at lightening speed, and I watched it this evening. I don't know what to say. I understand the controversy, especially since it doesn't have a nice clear message to assure you the film is not mere exploitation (the film's message, according to the film itself? "Run!"). It was entertaining to watch, even as it was unsettling. The film is basically a Lord of the Flies-inspired look at what happens when hormone-ravaged youngsters are given access to weapons of mass destruction and urged to kill each other. My DVD had very sub-standard subtitles (which is why I linked to the "Special Edition," though I do not know if its subtitles are any better), so I imagine I missed some subtle nuances, but I found the film both unsettling and thought-provoking.

Perhaps Battle Royale's theme of the loss of innocence would appeal to the White Stripes, and so I now have a segue into mentioning that apparenlty the White Stripes were on Conan all week. I'm watching it tonight, and saw a rerun on Comedy Central, where they covered "Jolene," but missed most of it. Serves me right for going to bed after the late-night syndicated episode of King of the Hill.

Grandma's funeral went well. There was some concern about how Uncle Bob would behave, especially considering some of his bizarre behavior before-hand. On Wednesday, he called to say that someone had called him, and claimed that he was giving singing lessons to Grandma twice a week, and wanted to conduct the service. Then Bob said he said that was fine. So Mom tells him that she's already planned the service, and that the Reverend from her church will conduct the service, and that Grandma was not taking singing lessons. So Bob volunteers to call the guy back and tell him to go to hell, but Mom says no, she'll call him. Bob warns her to be careful, though, because he wouldn't take no for an answer and he thinks he has a gun and might very well come over and kill us all. Anyway, Mom calls this guy up, its the guy who would come to Monte Vista Lodge once or twice a month for Sunday services, and wanted to say a few words at the service, not conduct the whole thing. He mentioned how much Grandma liked singing at the service, but nothing about singing lessons or anything. And he did not appear to be armed when I saw him. It puts Bob's claims about disgruntled teachers out to kill him in their proper perspective.

So with concerns about Bob's sanity, we were a bit nervous about the funeral. But there were no problems, and the focus was on Grandma, where it belonged. Simple service, but nice, and a few people spoke, and it was a decent enough way to mark the passing. It was a bit tough, I think funerals tend not to get easier, but rather magnify upon themselves. But hopefully this will be the last funeral for awhile. Michelle got butterflies to release after the service, because Grandma always liked butterflies. It was a nice effect. I'll miss her.

Bob was well-behaved, as I mentioned. The family was all there, except Trent couldn't make it. But Morgan did, which is nice. I like the cousins, though I rarely see them. We exchanged e-mail addresses, but I doubt we'll keep in touch, aside from a card around the holidays maybe. I know Mom would be perfectly happy never to see Bob again. Once the estate is settled up, there's no reason why we should, really; if he couldn't keep in touch with his own mother, why us? The cousins might keep in touch a bit better, though; Trent especially was good about visiting Grandma if he was in the area, at least.

I saw A Mighty Wind this evening, and enjoyed it very much. I don't think I enjoyed it as much as Guffman, Spinal Tap, and Best in Show, but I still highly recommend it. It is different from the other films in that, while I think there is some degree of sympathy in all of those films, A Mighty Wind really seems to not only have sympathy for its subjects, but respect. The songs are carefully crafted, and are more pastiche than parody. Unfortunately, since the songs don't carry the humor of the film, I think they were neglected a bit. The film could have had more music; it should have been longer and shown much more of the final climactic concert. But its still a great film, with lots of little touches and little moments. I think they are really catering more to their fans, with little things you might miss the first time through (I'm going again), and foregoing some of the bigger laughs. Eugene Levy shines as always, in a role very different from anything I've ever seen him do. Catherine O'Hara is a great singer, it turns out. Fred Willard's broad comedy helps give the film some belly-laughs. Jennifer Coolidge, in a very small role, has some of the most memorable moments; for the benefit of those who have not yet seen it, I'll just say, when she says, "Thank God for model trains," brace yourself for what follows. When I saw the Folksmen in Los Angeles, at the Harry Smith Project, I remember being upset that Elvis Costello chose to perform the same song as Van Dyke Parks (a man with much greater folk credentials); I like to think they agreed with me, and incorporated that into the film. I would have liked to see more of the Folksmen, incidentally; the film is weighed heavily to the story of Mitch and Mickey. Which is fine, but not when it means that the Folksmen don't even get to perform "Blood on the Coal" (thank God it's on the soundtrack album, which I will be ordering on-line tonight). Great film.

I am watching Takeshi's Castle, a Japanese game show hosted by Beat Takeshi. Except in America, it is called Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, Takeshi is adressed as Vic, and a completely fictitious and offensive translation of the dialogue is offered under the guise of wit. It would really depress me, to watch this, but then this woman fell and slammed her face against a log, and I had to smile. I wish it was being broadcast in a more responsible manner, so I could get Takeshi's take on reality television. But its on the National Network, what do you want? I don't recommend it, but I imagine you Kitano fans would like to know it exists. And keep hoping for an American distribution of Dolls.

It doesn't look like its been updated since Febuary, but maybe you'll find weekly poker updates here.

"If we can hit that bulls-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate." --Zap Brannigan, Futurama

Another idiot left a dog in their car on a hot day while going into the aquarium. At least this time the dog lived. Grrr...

Anyway, enjoy this open letter to the people of Iceland.

Went to Viejas with Mom today. Won $200 playing Omaha. First time I'd won at poker for awhile. I think the poker room is going downhill there. They haven't had a 3-6 Stud/8 game (my favorite) going in all the times I've gone recently, and on most weekdays they've had very few games of any kind going. I got a letter in the mail, because I hadn't been to Viejas in almost a year, offering me 5000 points in their player's club (worth $50 in food) for playing in the poker room ten hours this month. I finally logged the tenth hour today, but forgot the coupon, so I'll have to claim it next time.

Before going to Viejas, I went to the Boardwalk Arcade, played the new Simpsons Pinball Party game. I give it an unqualified thumbs up. Stern does good work, for the most part (even the Rollercoaster Tycoon pinball game is growing on me), and this is at least on par with Monopoly, and may even surpass it (I'll need to log some more playing time before deciding). I wish Aquarius Roll-A-Rena was still around, and they still had the old Simpsons pinball game, so I could compare the two. I remember enjoying it as a youngster. Rather Bart-centered, I think. The new one is more Homer-centered, as is to be expected. All the voices are there; my favorite is when you make the Kwik-E-Mart skill shot, Apu sometimes is heard to remark, "You must be a yogi of some kind," or "must you always be so good," the words I've always longed to hear Apu say of me. I realize pinball is waning in popularity these days, but I would think this game would get wide distribution due to its theme; I highly recommend you seek it out.

Been listening to the new White Stripes album. It's about as excellent as the reviews all suggest. I got Blender magazine in the mail (I somehow get Blender, Stuff, and Maxim--I swear I did not subscribe and have never paid for any of them, they just keep coming for some reason...padding subscription numbers for advertizers?) the other day, they were on the cover. I haven't read the article, I imagine it will disturb me, but it does make me feel at least slightly in tune with my generation. I always feel a little special glee in liking something hip for a change. I couldn't help but notice no one my age was waiting in line for Lyle Lovett tickets the other day. But I digress. It's a great album. I especially enjoyed the songs with Meg singing, "In the Cold, Cold Night" and "It's True That We Love One Another." And "Seven Nation Army," with its deep bass line, is great for driving home after a long day.

I went to the cemetary with my mom today, to make arrangements for Grandma's service. We didn't get the guy who did Dad's, and they in fact claim he no longer works there. So that was good. It actually went very smoothly. She had a pre-paid plan, and it covered all the expenses, so we had no out-of-pocket expenses. We're going to have a graveside service next Thursday. We aren't having a church service, since just about all of Grandma's friends are already dead.

In other news...work was crazy today. Between the normal crowds that the rain brings in, and the spring break crowd, the place was absolutely packed. It went fairly smooth, I thought, but we were a bit short-staffed. I had to leave at 2:00 to have a quick lunch and get to the cemetary, but I ended up not getting out of work until 2:45. I was able to make it to the cemetary right about on time, but had to skip lunch, so by dinner I was pretty starving. The day does go quickly when its busy, though, and except for parking, the constant thorn in our side, things went smoothly.

I got Final Fantasy: Origins for the Playstation today. Its a remastered edition of the original NES version of Final Fantasy, and Final Fantasy II, which had not been released in North America before. I just got it, and just played the first game for about an hour. It really takes me back, especially the music. It's great to get a nice nostalgia trip, and a full, involving game at the same time. I've been contemplating buying Activision Anthology, but past experience suggests the fun of revisiting Pitfall and Barnstorming won't be long-lasting. Final Fantasy, on the other hand, offers more than just nostalgia. I remember playing it for months before I finally beat it, back in my NES days (and I think that was with a strategy guide); I'm hoping it will last me as long this time around (schoolwork be damned).

My grandmother Gladys Mae Howell passed away today at the age of 82. Her blood pressure had been dropping over the past several days, and her heart gave out today. The surgery was just too intense for someone of her age and health. It's a sad occasion, but I really couldn't imagine a better outcome; it was obvious she would not recover enough to go home, she would have to go to a nursing home or hospice instead, and if her cancer was indeed terminal, than a fast resolution to her suffering is probably a blessing.

So my official time is now on-line, my gun time is 22:40, my chip time is 22:47. I don't understand how that works. Apparently instead of being near the back of the pack, I actually started the race seven seconds before the rest. Oh, well. I'll consider my official time 22:40. As I said below, not disgraceful, but still disappointing.

The Carlsbad 5000 was a disappointment, though I did not crash and burn as I was afraid I would. In fact, I ran the first mile in under 6 minutes, and at the two mile mark, was on track not only to break 20 minutes, my goal, but to break 19 minutes. But I could tell I was running out of steam, and ended up walking for about a quarter-mile (probably less, but it felt like a lot more). I ran the very end, and came in around 22:15 (chip time--I'll know the exact time as soon as its posted), which was good enough for a "Top 250" medal. At first I was kicking myself for starting off too fast; then I was kicking myself for stopping and walking, rather than running through it. But what it really comes down to is, I didn't train enough. So while I'm still disappointed with my performance, this was an exciting race, as well, as I believe that, had I had the training base behind me, I could have held the pace I ran for the first 2/3 of the race. So with a little more discipline behind my training, I could break 19:00 in my next 5K.

Have you seen the newest commercial for the Olive Garden? Now our favorite Italian grandfather is referred to as an Italian-American, out at the Olive Garden to celebrate his new American citizenship. Apparently they thought a commerical that simply observed that Italian food is good (and that Olive Garden food looks kinda like Italian food) might be offensive to patriotic Americans. The last thing they need is patriots renaming spaghetti "freedom noodles" or Olive Garden food "freedom crap."

Saw the Folksmen on Mad TV tonight. They performed "Blood on the Coal." I saw them a few years ago in LA, when they performed for the Harry Smith Project. I loved it, even though I didn't really know who or what they were. Once I found out the Folksmen were the brainchild of Christopher Guest and company, I tried to find more about them, but all I could find was that they were on Saturday Night Live once, and I was unable to find a tape of that (hopefully that will be included in the A Mighty Wind DVD). So I am so excited to see the movie (opens Wednesday), and the thought of the soundtrack album and future DVD makes me giddy.

Whenever Dad was in the hospital, there was always some old person who wouldn't shut up, screaming and moaning all night. Now apparently Grandma is that woman. All she does is just cry out, "Help me," over and over. I guess she's improving, today it was more of a whimper than a moan, but seeing as the doctors have told us that the cancer is terminal, one has to wonder if its worth putting her through this. The doctors say she's confused due to the intensity of the surgery, and that she should be improved mentally by the end of the week. But I'm especially worried about the toll this is taking on my mother. She really didn't need this.

I watched Bottle Rocket tonight. I'd never seen it before, which is disgraceful, I know. I didn't like it as much as their other movies, but it was entertaining. Interesting to see the roots of some of the techniques from Rushmore and The Royal Tenenbaums. I thought Bottle Rocket might be more frenetic and experimental than the later films, but it seems like its success actually enabled them to be more assured in their unique techniques. I'm glad I finally got around to watching it.

I have had very little energy lately. I've only ran once this week, and of all my little projects, I've barely got anything done. Yet somehow I've managed to keep up with school, at least. I'm running in the Carlsbad 5000 tomorrow, so that should offer some objective guidance as to where I am now versus where I've been; if I'm just in a little funk or if I've fallen back in my fitness goals. I once hoped to break 20:00 at the race, but now I'm just hoping I can just hold my pace from my last race. I'll call Monday a rest day, and then I'll see about getting back on track. Maybe go to bed earlier? But who wants to do that?

Men love booze. Men love monkeys. So check out Gobler Toys, and tell them Senor Sandwich sent you.

Archie McPhee has some interesting things for sale. I rather enjoyed "Dead Duck", but on a cursury examination they seem to have a wide array of random stuff, espeically if your in to kitsch.

Grandma's doing good. The doctors say she's a tough old broad. She made them bring a TV into the ICU so she could watch Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy.

I went to a sneak preview of The Good Thief tonight. I enjoy the later work of Nick Nolte, for the most part. The first half was a bit slow, but overall I enjoyed it. A great finale in Monte Carlo. I would love to play for high stakes in Monte Carlo some day. A classier type of joint, though the same greed greases the roulette wheels. For all the film's build-up to the dual heists, the real tension was in Nolte at the tables, and the film catured it admirably, right down to the pit's flop sweat. I enjoyed the movie, overall, but still would have a hard time recommending it. Too slow, didn't add anything to the genre, and the girl was a bit annoying.

I made it home just in time to catch the premiere of Lucky of FX, to continue the gambling theme. Not bad, the side of gambling I'm more familiar with, though rather cartoonish. But I'll tune in next week.

Skipped my run today. Haven't run since Thursday. The Carlsbad 5000 this weekend should be humbling. I had hoped to break 20:00, now I just hope I don't make an ass of myself. I'll run down to the gym tomorrow. And eat better, too (leftover pizza for lunch and dinner today).

They took out Grandma's lung. Apparently they decided to move her surgery up from four to before noon without telling anyone, so by the time I thought Grandma was going in, the surgery was about over. Took over twice as long as they thought, and there was a lot of blood, she needed a transfusion. They said they couldn't really check because of the blood, but they're pretty sure there's more cancer in there. But with the lung out, the doctors say she should be more comfortable. So from a quality of life standpoint, it sounds like the surgery should be successful. But again, time will tell.

Grandma is going in and having her left lung removed today. She seems in good enough shape going in, I think she'll pull through the initial surgery, at least. She's scared, of course; last I saw her, she was just muttering to herself about having to get through it, get back to assisted living, back to bingo. It's interesting how unpleasant it was getting her to go into assisted living, now she can't wait to return. I think the worst thing that could happen is she not recover enough to return to where she was, and have to go into a rest home. For her age, I think it would be better she just succumb peacefully in surgury than that. Of course, a full recovery would be the best of all, but only time will tell, I suppose.

I haven't been running or done any real amount of exercise since last Thursday. I was going to run down to the gym today after school, but I just couldn't get myself to go. My diet has been abysmal, as well. I just ordered a pizza for dinner tonight, Saturday I had an Ultimate Cheeseburger from Jack in the Box for lunch and a Steerburger from Boll Weevil for dinner. Last Friday, in fact, I had originally planned to stop by the farmer's market in La Mesa and get some fruit; I ended up skipping dinner and eating a Big Buford from Rally's around midnight. Tomorrow I'll get a run in, and I'll plan my food choices for tomorrow tonight, so it'll be easier to make the right decisions. These organic pasta and rice bowls are on sale at the store, the teriaki tofu one is really good; I'll probably have that tomorrow. Tonight, though, its two large pizzas from Papa John's. It was cheaper to get two large one-toppings than one large two-topping, so I had to split up my traditional mushroom and olive pizza, got one all mushrooms, one half-olives and half-anchovies, because I've never had anchovies on a pizza, I watched a Futurama episode involving anchovies last night, and I enjoy sardines, so I figured it was a good time to try them.

The Quotable Bazooka Joe.

Can you spot the double-taxation?

From The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas by Gertrude Stein:

"Bruce, Patrick Henry Bruce, was one of the early and most ardent Matisse pupils and soon he made little Matisses, but he was not happy. In explaining his unhappiness he told Gertrude Stein, they talk about the sorrows of great artists, the tragic unhappiness of great artists but after all they are great artists. A little artist has all the tragic unhappiness and the sorrows of a great artist and he is not a great artist."

I bought Lyle Lovett tickets today. Waited in line over four hours. It was not fun, but at least I kept a few dollars out of the greasy paws of Ticketmaster. Good seats, but a ways back. I also got myself a ticket to see Paula Poundstone; since I only got one ticket, I was able to get an eighth-row center seat (the best seat available without buying a dinner show ticket). Standing for four hours really takes it out of you, though; I'm rather sore and tired today. Hopefully it will help me get to sleep tonight, lessen the impact of daylight savings.

Grandma has lung cancer. Apparently you can't smoke a pack a day for many decades without some ramifications. So she is having her left lung removed on Monday. According to the doctors, if the cancer is in fact localized to the left lung, her prognosis is pretty good, but my mom isn't optimistic, nor am I. They say she has about a 3-5% chance of dying during the surgery, but it seems to me that any 84-year-old undergoing any surgery has worse odds than that. In any event, I hope for the best, or baring that a quiet ending. My mom's side of the family has a history of lingering on for much longer than they should, so hopefully Grandma will buck that trend. I should be somewhat more positive, and wish that she is able to quickly return home to assisted living, mystery rides and bingo, but optimism and cancer are not complementary concepts in my mind these days.

Been a someone eventful week, I should have been more vigilant in writing here, but I will try to touch on the most memorable moments. I saw Chubby Checker in concert yesterday. Chad had free tickets. His voice sounded very much like his recordings, and he looked pretty good for his age. Overall, it was a fun show. There was a very odd, very sad moment, however. During one particularly rousing number (I forget the song), a roadie ran up and began setting up what looked like two microphone stands. But as it took form, it actually looked like a nordic track, or some such piece of exercise equipment. Then Mr. Checker stepped up on it, grasped onto the twin poles, and begin to slide his feet around on the platform of the device, leading his hips to sweave in a twisting manner. The crowd seemed to enjoy the display, but I was just confused. It sure looked like Chubby was unable to dance without the aid of a mechanical device, which is not exactly an occasion to cheer. He'd been dancing before the contraption was brought out; if certain moves were beyond his ability to dance unassisted, he should rotate them out of his routine. But the crowd didn't seem to mind, so why should I? I was confused, but overall it just made me feel sad. I felt like the innocent child beholding the emperor in his new clothes; perhaps I had to be the one to stand up and shout: "He's using a contraption! Can't you see he's not dancing on his own, he's using a contraption!" And then they would all see the contraption. The whole thing put a dark cloud over an otherwise delightful evening.

I went to Viejas Thursday, to play poker. I got a letter from them because I hadn't been in a long time, encouraging me to return by offering me $50 in food credits (in addition to the normal comps earned for my play) if I played ten hours in their poker room this month. I hadn't been in almost a year, and the poker room has gone downhill. 7 card stud/8 or better is my preferred game, but they only had one game going, at 1-3 limits (I play 3-6). They had very few games going (though I know they always have had slow nights and busy nights, so maybe I just chose an off day to return). So I played 3-6 Omaha/8. The automatic shufflers were not there the last time I played, but I thought they were a nice addition. I was up almost $100 after just ten mintues or so, but slowly gave almost all of it back, when I had a very upsetting experience. It was a kill pot, and there was a fair amount of betting, so it was a substantial pot. I had the second-best low, and was pretty certain the main bettor had the nut low. I was hoping for a deuce to come, giving me the best low, but it never came. Instead, a three on the river paired the board. I called, since it was a big pot, and saw that the bettor did indeed have the nut low. I show my pocket queens, figuring it wasn't good enough. A player shows that he has sevens and fours, so I dismiss my hand with a wave of the hand, and the dealer promptly mucks it. Not for a minute or so later, as the dealer is still divying up the substantial pot ($150, I'd guess), do I remember the river card paired the board. I had queens and threes, the best hand. And I killed my hand. So I flushed $75 down the toilet. I was somewhat pissed off at the dealer, but it was actually a floorman pitching in because of a shortage of dealers due to a tournament going long, and is not in the habit of dealing, no doubt. If I show my cards, he's supposed to verify that I did in fact lose before mucking the hand, but ultimately the player is responsible for protecting his or her hand. So I didn't say anything; maybe the guy who got the high half of the pot realized he hadn't in fact won, maybe not, and I don't care; I've been on the other side, getting a pot I didn't deserve due to dealer error, and I don't feel the need to point it out. But it soured me a bit on live poker in a casino; playing on-line, that situation could not occur. Anyway, I knew I should leave immediately, since that was going to rattle me, but I didn't, and sure enough, lost all the money I brought with me. I won half of it back the next night, after the Chubby Checker concert. But it did teach me to be much more vigilant about protecting and reading my hand in a showdown, especially at Omaha, where it can be genuinely confusing, and it is easy for even an experienced dealer to make a mistake now and then.

School so far has been okay. Judging from the first week, it won't be a memorable quarter, but it should be an opportunity to actually be academically sucessful for once. I don't anticipate my classes being a huge challenge this time around. But only time will tell. One consequence of my academic career that will impact this site is that I now own Adobe Photoshop Elements. Got it for $49.99, with a student licence. Retails for a hundred, not a bad deal at all. Also, I figured it out the other day, and I own something like .000000008% of Adobe, Inc., so its like I actually got an additional fraction of a fraction of a cent back as well. So hopefully I'll get around to installing that and learning to use it, and uploading some photographs here soon. But first I'll just work on actually writing in the blog on a regular basis.

I just finished watching Golden Years, the Steven King miniseries, in one sitting. I got it on DVD real cheap, and figured I'd give it a try since I like Felicity Huffman a lot, and I enjoyed watching it back in middle school, when it originally aired. Also, I remembered being incensed by the "...to be continued" ending, and wondered how they dealt with that on the DVD. Anyway, turns out its pretty bad, some low-rent version of Firestarter. Though I watched the whole thing (almost four hours) in one night, so I guess it holds your interest. Probably helped that both Huffman and Stephen Root are in it. As for the ending, apparently they shot a new one after realizing the network had no interest in continuing it. It's a lame ending, but at least it has one. Once I dump this on half.com, I imagine it will have only cost me two or three bucks to watch it, so I guess that's not so bad. I think I'm going to cancel my netflix membership, just buy DVDs, watch at my leisure, and then sell them on the internet, I think in the long run it'll actually be cheaper.

First day of school was fairly uneventful. I had trouble finding one of my classes, which is rather sad since its in the same classroom as one of my classes last quarter. I also had the revelation half-way through my Political Science class that my AP credits from eons ago already gave me credit for that course. So now, unless I can find something else to take (which is unlikely; I had real trouble coming up with Poli Sci to fill the slot for my third class, as there seemed to be very little offered on a Monday/Wednesday/Friday basis that I could take in any discipline) or be down to eight units (my fourth class was cancelled due to lack of interest). I suppose eight units this quarter is okay, as long as I ace those eight units.

Relatively uneventful day at work. I was sort of blue for much of the day, for various reasons, many of which have been documented in this blog over the preceeding days and weeks and months. But a nice run on such a beautiful day couldn't help but pick me up a bit. Lots of birds and wildflowers, and I even got to watch two hummingbirds tango up close. Apparently they were so busy stabing each other with their beaks, they couldn't be bothered to take notice of me. I'm not sure if they were fighting or courting, but it was interesting to watch.

Then I went out to eat with my mom, all-you-can-eat chinese buffet. A pretty good value as far as buffets go, wish I could remember its name so I could recommend it. And now I'm settling in to an evening of television before my first day of school tomorrow. Mark my words: This is the quarter I won't fail miserably at everything I attempt.

This is Monika's last weekend in San Diego. She hits the road for Columbus, Ohio on Monday (I enjoyed watching View from the Top with her, with its Cleveland-bashing and image of Ohio as the world's waiting room). So today we were supposed to go bowling as a going-away party, with a dinner to follow. The bowling was particularly exciting, since Monika and I had never bowled together, and our previous attempt, at my going-away party from the Cove, was foiled when we couldn't get a lane at the Sunset Bowl. But Monika called, and was assured that we could probably get a lane at 3 on a Saturday, no problem. Instead, we end up on a list, and wait about two hours. When we finally complain, they tell us they called us a long time ago, even though there were about eight of us and no one heard anything, and I had just recently checked to see where we were on the list and we were still there. Sunset Bowl is nice, but I don't think I'll be back, I've never been able to get a lane easily. Even when I do get a lane, it usually is still an issue, as we'll need two or three lanes but only get one. So that was unfortunate, but we went to Mission Bay Park instead, and played on the swing and monkey bars, and that was fun. I hadn't been on a swing in a long, long time. My legs are a bit too long, I can't really pump because the ground gets in the way. But it was fun, and I also enjoyed watching Monika's boyfriend Nick get ganged up on by a bunch of girls daring him to jump off the monkey bars. Then a nice dinner at Mandarin Dynasty followed, and a good time was had by all. But the occasion was not exactly a happy one; I'll miss Monika a lot. We had a class together in elementary school, spent upteen lunches together in high school, worked together at the Cove, where she replaced me (eventually), and I enjoyed hearing about the Cove and Spense, and whatever drama was going down at Landmark. It's like how there are several newspapers all claiming to be the oldest in the country; some are the oldest continuously-publishing, some are just old. I guess Monika's just my oldest friend. There are very few people from elementary school I could consider friends years later, and with the exception of Carinna, I lost contact with them shortly after high school (and eventually even Carinna; I don't think I've been in touch with her in almost two years). Monika is good people, no doubt about it. I doubt life will bring me to Ohio anytime soon, but hopefully she'll come back to San Diego on occasion, because I know a lot of people who will miss her very much.

Last night, I saw Hot Club of Cowtown at the Casbah. Appropriately enough, I also finally got the Ghost Train CD I'd ordered off Amazon.com that day, so I could hear some more of them before I came. The album is alright, though had I heard it before that day, I'd probably have not bothered to attend the show, but seeing as I had nothing better to do, I went, and they were fantastic live. I didn't quite care for Elana Fremerman voice on the album, but it seemed to have a lot more feeling when I heard it undigitized (though it was her fiddling that really impressed me). The show started about fourty minutes late, but the band was apologetic about it, which was nice, and the crowd was rather noisy, which was annoying, but I had a good time. I meant to write last night, so I could have had some more specific things to say. As it is, I forget the names of just about all the songs they played. Some standards, like "Cotton-Eyed Joe" (their rendition was a lot slower and more thoughtful than I've heard before, I really liked it), but seemed like they were focusing more on their own material. They did play "Forget-Me-Nots," the first song of theirs I had heard, which was great, though it seemed Elana was having trouble with the vocals, hitting some of the notes. Ghost Train is a good album, as well, lest my comments about it dissuade you; I just wouldn't have been as excited to pay ten bucks to stand around and wait for them to play based solely on that album.

But anyway, I'm sad Monika's leaving. I had fun today, and didn't really think much about it, until it was time to say goodbye. I had been listening to Lyle Lovett's Road to Ensenada in the car, but "That's Right (You're Not From Texas)" seemed too frivilous for the mood, so I put on Pink Martini and played "Que Sera, Sera" a few times over. Which I've been doing a lot anyway, that's a beautiful song (I really love that CD). But it fit the moment better. Though I'd probably be depressed anyway, even without this. My mom woke me up this morning crying, asking me some question about how to get money out of one of grandma's bank accounts. So I assumed grandma was dead, but it turns out she's just really having trouble doing anything without getting winded, and has some sort of bedsore type thing on her butt. So Mom wanted money in an account where she can write checks, in case she has to pay for Grandma to go into a nursing home (she's in assisted living now). Now I don't think its a big deal, but being woken up and encountering the situation as I did, it had an impact on me. More for its effect on my mother than anything; I love my Grandma, but she's very, very old and, having just lost a father, I think her death would be regarded by me as more an unfortunate inevitability than a great tragedy. But I can't imagine losing your mother and your husband in the span of a few months. But I don't think its a big deal, she just needs to see a doctor on Monday and get a treatment worked out. She choked on something at lunch not long ago, which might have something to do with her getting winded all the time; otherwise, its probably just her lifelong smoking habit catching up with her (she quit about five years ago). But I don't think its imminently life-threatening or anything.

Photos of yours truly from my first 10K are now on-line. I don't look all that great in a few of them, especially. The clenched fists in particular make it seem like I was about to hit the wall, which is about accurate.

I saw View from the Top today. Not high culture, but it was amusing enough. The ending was unnecessary (hate those winks at the camera), and I can always do without Christina Applegate, but Mike Myers was funny. I saw it in about the biggest theater I'd ever been in, at the Pacific Gaslamp. Probably seated about 1500, I'd guess (though I'm really bad at that sort of thing). It had some semblance of character, too, which is always a plus. I'd only been there once before and wasn't impressed, but I enjoyed it this time, might try it again sometime. Had fun peeking into the projection booth while we waited for the film to start. Sadly, none of the theatre's character carried over to the booth.

From The Simpsons episode "Like Father, Like Clown:" Bart: "Krusty, do you think about your father a lot?" Krusty: "All the time. Except when I'm at the track, then its all business."

I've been meaning to write lately, but I never got around to it, and now I don't really remember what I was going to write about. A great loss for humanity, I'm sure.

Just got home from lunch, my mom and I went to eat, and noticed a "store closing" sign on the Wherehouse Music. I wasn't that excited, because they're so expensive to begin with, I wasn't sure if even a closeout sale could make it a good deal. It was really picked over (I imagine they sent the popular stuff to the other stores which are remaining open), but they actually did have some good deals. Emmylou Harris Anthology and Talking Heads Sand in the Vaseline for just over twenty bucks each were both great deals, and I was surprised to see they had Pink Martini Sympathique for $12.50, which is hard to find. I just recently bid on one for e-bay, and think I was willing to go higher than that. So I ended up getting those, as well as Echo and the Bunnymen (figured for under ten bucks, might as well), some other Talking Heads albums also under ten bucks, and Badly Drawn Boy Have You Fed the Fish for a grand total of $108.54. A bit more than I planned to spend when I came in, but I'm convinced I got good deals, on products I actually wanted, so it was worth it.

I haven't run lately, I banged my knee on a desk, so I've been taking it easy. Tomorrow I'll resume my running. But it means I am again without the endorphins from running, and am depressed (though I was depressed even before I skipped a run, so I don't think the running is the cause, though without it I'm sure its more profound). The nights especially get to me, which is a shame, since I used to be a night person. But with work and school, I suppose its for the best that I'm getting away from that. But tossing and turning in bed feeling sorry for myself isn't how I want to spend my evenings.

I just realized that while I've been typing all this, my fly was open. I have rectified the situation, I appologize for the lack of respect I showed to you, gentle reader, you deserved better than that.

Hot Club of Cowtown will be at the Casbah on Friday. I'm looking forward to that. I ordered one of their CDs about two weeks ago from Amazon.com, and despite the claim that it would probably ship in 24-48 hours, it didn't ship until Monday. So when I noticed they were coming this weekend (and the CD had not yet shipped), I was amused that I would be able to see them in person before I had even received my CD. I've been buying a lot of stuff from Amazon lately, partly because its convenient and, with free shipping, fairly reasonably priced, but I think I might get back to buying more stuff from independent outlets like AllDirect, with which I have had good experiences with in the past. As it is, when I search for DVDs on DVD Price Search, I almost invariably end up buying them from Deep Discount DVD. That weakened Canadian dollar is really helping me out. But Amazon is a slick site with lots of product information and reviews, and I'm always getting some sort of coupon or gift certificate for a few bucks off, so I doubt I'll abandon Amazon completely. I've just been disappointed with how quickly I've gotten things from them lately.

Which reminds me: I was hoping the Futurama Season One DVD would come in the mail today, but no suck luck.

I was about to bring this entry to a close, but now I recall at least one thing I did this week: I went to Barona and played Poker on Monday. I had planned to spend the evening listing some of Dad's personal effects on Half.com (CDs, mostly), but for some reason I really, really didn't feel like doing that, so I went up to play poker instead. Won a nice amount of change. It was the first time I'd ever won a pot in a rack attack (they draw a table at random, and add a rack of chips--$100--to the next pot). Usually, I stay in with garbage because I'm getting good odds, but don't wind up with a hand, and so the "promotion" costs me a pretty penny. But this time I lucked out, caught an ace on the river, and my aces-up held up in a six-way pot (usually you'd need at least a straight in that situation), so I got half the pot (its high-low split). Made about $70 on that hand, though I was down about $30 before that, and then the very next hand I scooped a very nice pot. I ended up over $150 ahead, which is very nice at 1-3 limits. Especially since I only played a few hours. It was a bit annoying at times, some of the players and one dealer particularly were annoying discussing the war. First off, any "Freedom Fries" discussion annoys the hell out of me. If you hate the French so much, blow up the Statue of Liberty. And shred the Declaration of Indepence while you're at it, since we'd all be having high tea and saluting the Union Jack without France. And then they discuss Iraqi war atrocities, which are indeed bad, but it just aggravated me because none of them have the stories right: "And then they shot five of our soldiers execution-style on live TV," that sort of thing.

I don't feel like writing much about the war. I'm still agin' it, but too late to stop it now. Seems to me protests would be more successful if they took a breather, let the war play itself out a bit more, I don't think they're winning themselves any converts right now, macing the police and all (though the police could mellow out, as well). Protesting Halliburton, however, is a very good idea right now. Dick Cheney is a traitor, in my opinion; to hear him now, he was always convinced Sadaam was a mass murderer who couldn't be trusted, so why did he do business with him? And why is Halliburton in Iran, stop three (two?) on the U.S.'s "Axis of Evil" tour. But I digress...the war itself seems to be going just as a reasonable person would have expected, no cake walk, some losses, but we're doing well. The stock market proves itself as irrational as ever, viewing a few POWs as shocking setbacks. It was going to happen. We've still lost more soldiers from our Black Hawk helicoptors falling from the sky than from anything the Iraqis have done. I still think this will be done soon. Baghdad's the uncertain element, but I still think the U.S. will control Iraq very shortly. Again, I don't think its until a few months after we regain control that we'll begin to appreciate the truly difficult problems we face. Anyway, I've already written more about the war than I wanted to, I believe this will be my last word on the subject for awhile.

This item from the April 2003 issue of Harper's amused me:

The following letter, written in summer 2002 by Wasatch County Jail inmate Kent Coulson, was intended for Coulson's girlfriend but was accidentally sent to David Sam, his sentencing judge.  Coulson was sentenced to seventy months in federal prison for manufacturing methamphetamines.

Hey Baby,

How is my little thing?  I have been sweating my ass off.  It is a hot one in here.  As you know, I have not been sentenced yet, but that is coming up soon.  But I do have some good news concerning that subject.  Can you believe my father plays golf with Sam, the crusty old judge who happens to be mine, not by choice?  Ha!

Not only that, but the old dumbfucker lives up here in Heber somewhere and the church people who come every Sunday morning just happen to know him.  So it all looks good for me.  Ha!  Ha!

I just thought I would send a quick note to you and let you know what's up.  I have to write a suck-up letter to the Honorable Asshole and it should all be great for me.

Your big guy, Kent

The Game Show Network is presenting Big Bucks: The Press Your Luck Scandal. It's a very interesting story, so if you have digital cable, it might be worth checking out (I do not, but I know people who do, so I have sent out some e-mails and hopefully someone will tape it for me).

Took Tanner to Cowles Mountain today. Didn't go too far, though, it was too hot to take Tanner all the way up. I should've gone somewhere with more shade for him, since it was a beautiful day today. I enjoyed myself, though; I wasn't used to seeing so much plant life on the mountain, with all the flowers in bloom. It's usually a fairly barren place, but not right now. Tanner seemed to enjoy himself as well, even though he didn't get to go very far. And since I don't have school this week, I should have plenty of time to take him for walks this week.

Went to Barona this evening, lost a fair amount of cash. Then Cecily called me drunk, rambling on, so I ended up heading over there, but by the time I got there, she was of course sleeping. So I felt kind of stupid showing up, but not like I had anything better to do; my plans were just to list some of Dad's CDs and stuff for sale on E-Bay or Half.com (or I suppose I could save all of his Sheryl Crow CDs for myself, I'm sure I'll listen to them a lot).

Overall, another thrilling weekend. Work tomorrow. Hurray.

I went to the gym today, for the first time in a while. Got in a pretty good workout, and I actually ran to and from the gym. It was the first time I'd done that, which is pretty sad, since its not much more than a mile away. Figured it was a real waste of gas to drive to the gym and then get on an exercise bike to warm up before hitting the weights. It's not very far to run, but for some reason it makes me feel like I accomplished a lot more than I usually do when I go to the gym.

I went out to dinner with my mom tonight (I know how to live it up Friday nights, no?). We went to Albert's restaurant at the Zoo. It was a very nice meal. I had the sea bass, with lobster fritters beforehand and a peanut brittle chocolate mousse for dessert, while my mom had jerked chicken with tamales beforehand and some sort of mereinge for dessert. A little bit pricy, but really good food, and not too bad a value when you figure the stands around the park charge five bucks for nachos.

I uploaded a few pictures. I was going to upload more, but I realize they're still a bit big, and I don't feel like shrinking them down and setting up a photo album page for them, so I just uploaded a few and figured I'd post them here, if I can remember how. Here's me:

Here's my dog:

And here's more of Tanner: More pictures to come, probably.

I saw Willard today. I enjoyed it, to an extent. I've never seen the original, but enjoyed this new incarnation on its own, amusing and creepy. And yes, the theme from Ben appears, twice: The Jackson Five original, and Crispin Glover's rendition. Reminded me a bit of Office Killer, as well as Glover's recent piece of garbage, Bartleby. If you aren't sure if you want to see this or not, I'd go with your gut, but if, like me, you find yourself inexplicably reconsidering your initial reaction of "Why the hell are they remaking Willard?," I'd say go with your instincts.

It's finals week at school, and I'm already done. It's like getting an extra week of spring break. I think I did good on my final, it was harder than the midterm, which surprised me, but I had a solid A- going in, so I don't have much to worry about.

I got in a quick 15-minute run this morning. It was nice, running on such a beautiful day, and all the birds seemed to be out. I saw a pair of bluejays and I think a starling (I don't even know what a starling looks like, but when I see a little songbird I can't identify, I always seem to decide it must be a starling, guess I just like the word). I would've run more, but I was tired, my legs were still a bit sore and stiff from Sunday, and I had an appointment to give blood this afternoon and didn't want to get dehydrated.

So as I said, I gave blood today, which meant I took the day off work. Took about two hours, since I was giving plasma and platelets, not whole blood. I think the screening nurse was new, she didn't really seem to know what she was doing. When I told her I had a tetanus shot, that really threw her off. But I got in and got my blood ran through the machine and all, and got a donut and juice and a tee-shirt, and a coupon for a pint of ice cream from Baskin-Robbins, which was nice. And I got that nice warm feeling knowing I did my part to contribute to the blood supply that made my Dad's last years a little easier and more fulfilling.

On the stock market front, I bought Harris Interactive and some more Fannie Mae today. I haven't got the price I paid yet, but I know Fannie Mae was up, Harris down. I also got a bit more of The Limited via reinvested dividends. It troubles me that the market is up with war looking inevitable. Though really it just shows the stupidity of the market movers, fund managers and their ilk. Pricing the market down because there might be a war, then pricing it up because the uncertainty is gone. Uncertainty is a good thing, it's what makes profitable situations in the market possible. War, terrorism, our tarnished international reputation, these are bad things. Oil prices are stabilizing, yes, but when Iraq is liberated and we discover we don't know what to do next, and when our luck runs out in Afghanistan and the weak, sectarian government collapses, maybe taking Pakistan and their bomb with it, is that good for the market? I think the war will be over in less than two week (I was going to say less than 10 days, but I'll give myself some leeway). I also seem to think our fatalities from enemy attacks will be less than the number of soldiers we have already lost in this most recent military build-up in Black Hawk helicopter crashes alone (what the hell is going on there? They grounded them for awhile, did nothing, and are now letting them kill more and more of our soldiers), though I could easily see myself being wrong there. I think six months down the line is when this war is going to start looking more and more unwise. But hey, maybe I'll be wrong, wouldn't be the first time. I guess since this is going to happen whatever my opinion is, that's the best I can hope for now.

Today was quite a busy day at work. The aquarium always seems to be busy when it rains. And I think a lot of people were here on vacation this weekend, taking an early spring break. So we got quite a bit of business. It went pretty smoothly, though. I understand there were problems on Saturday (which was even busier), but nothing went too wrong today (the parking machine broke, but that's about a daily occurence, so as to barely be worth noting). It was also quite a day for celebrity citings. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas came to see the aquarium. A federal marshall came about an hour before he got their to arrange for him to have a private behind-the-scenes tour of the aquarium. Must be nice to have that sort of clout. It was neat to see him in person, he was older than I thought, and his son was pretty young. Its pretty exciting to think that I finally got to see one of the five people who actually voted for George W. to be president. Later in the day, I sold a ticket to the guy who played Darlene's boyfriend on Roseanne, which was also exciting in its way. He looks exactly the same as on the show. So that was today's excitement. Celebrities of sort would come into the Cove Theatre (Marion Ross, Andy Kindler, Jewel), but I hadn't seen any at the aquarium.

Spent this evening playing games with my mom and sister. I won handily at Simpsons Trivia (of course), then was beaten twice at Simpsons Clue. In the end, though, it was the sound thrashings I dealt my sister at Simpsons Road Rage (seeing a trend) that were the most satisfying. And now I am winding my day down, watching my cartoons on Cartoon Network. For awhile Sunday evening television was something I looked forward to all week. Now, not so much. The Adult Swim schedule on Cartoon Network is not what it used to be, and after Futurama, there's a bit of a hole in the schedule, and I no longer stay up as late as I used to on a regular basis, so I usually end up going to bed rather than watching Sealab 2021 and Aqua Teen Hunger Force and the rest of that ilk. And as for the Fox line-up, the new Simpsons are for the most part pretty unsatisfying. Basically, its only King of the Hill and the Futurama reruns on Cartoon Network that still make Sunday night TV something I enjoy. But I miss Adult Swim the way it used to be. But maybe its for the best that I not spend my days anticipating upcoming TV shows.

I ran 45:47 in the St. Patrick's Day 10K this morning. A PR, if only because I'd never ran a 10K before (though a 7:22 pace is nothing to be ashamed of). And I feel better today, one can only assume the two things are related.

My sister's in town to visit and finish up Dad's taxes. We went out to dinner and then a movie, The Guru. It was a great, great movie. Who'd've thunk it. At times watching it, I was wishing there were more Bollywood dance numbers, but in the end, I think it was smart not to try to compete with real Indian films on this account. Instead, it captured the energy and spirit and humor of Bollywood, but is definately a Hollywood film, in the best sense. It parodies bollywood and hollywood, and deals with the issues an Indian--excuse me, a Native American--faces. But ultimately, its about the twin pillars of Hollywood, sex and money. It's always made for great drama and greater comedy, and this is no exception.

Incidentally, what is with Heather Graham playing porn stars? This is at least the third film, I think there may have been more. I know porn stars often (at least according to a hard-hitting VH-1 documentary) think they'll break into mainstream entertainment; is Heather Graham hoping to make the opposite move? Or is it just type-casting? Someone should talk to her agent.

I'm depressed today. I think its because I haven't run in a few days, being a bit sore from hiking Wednesday. Perhaps I'm lacking some endorphins. I didn't thik I had experienced a "runner's high" before, but perhaps I had, with "high" simply being "not low." But I was resting up between the hike and tomorrow's run, so I currently am functioning without the benefit of physical exercise. That's one theory, anyway...what it comes down to is, I feel blue. I'd like a drink, but I figure that would not help tomorrow's run (I don't imagine the cookies I've been eating by the dozen will be of any help tomorrow, either, but we're none of us perfect).

Perhaps its a lack of any activity, not just physical, that is to blame. I skipped school Wednesday and Friday, and called in sick on Thursday. I haven't been sleeping well, and I'm always tired. In short, I feel like I did before exercising. If I felt like this a year or two ago, I wouldn't have worried about it, but now I have to hope this isn't the start of something more long-term.

I've found myself rather irritable, as well. I was walking and some idiot was honking at the car in front of him even though that car couldn't legally go anywhere, and I nearly pulled the idiot out of her car. I thought better of it, though. I still feel an inordinate amount of rage thinking about it. Probably not healthy. I'm giving blood on Tuesday, I'll be curious to see my blood pressure.

Anyway, I don't mean to whine. I just feel myself falling back into a slump of self-pity and lethargy, and I'd really rather not.

I played hooky today, skipped school and went out to the desert instead. I decided to set out to Pepperwood Spring, as the seclusion sounded nice. I got a later start than I'd planned, and it took longer to get there than I anticipated, because the dirt road wasn't the best (though my Corolla handled it nicely, I thought). But I ended up doing the bulk of the hiking under the noon-day sun. And then I got lost. I couldn't find Pepperwood Spring, though I reassured myself at least I knew the way back to the car. But once I gave up and decided to head back, I found out I was wrong on that account, too. Ended up going around in a circle three times before I began to get concerned. Fortunately, I found some shade where I could rest, and I had enough water, so I wasn't too worried, but I'd still have felt like an idiot if they had to send search and rescue out for some idiot wandering the desert alone. Once I rested and thought it out, I realized that I had walked a fair amount of the way into the desert along the fence of the private parcel of land I was now adjacent to, and after following that a short ways south, I was back on track. I actually think now I realized where I made the wrong turn, and could get to the spring now. But the spring's probably pretty much dried up already, so no reason to drive all the way out there and try again. But I learned to better appreciate the perils of the desert, and to wear a hat next time. I enjoyed myself, though. There were some nice wildflowers in bloom, and some wildlife to observe, and whatnot.

I recently wrote that I put in an order for Fannie Mae. Well, right before that order came through, some yahoo on the federal reserve made some nasty comments about Fannie Mae's risks, and the stock tanked about 6%. So I was able to up my order and get a real bargain. Also, after seeing the rest of the market tank on Monday also, I reviewed the stocks I've been monitoring and bought some Hasbro. Its management has proven itself incompetent plenty of times, but it seems like a good price, and they have some Twister dance game that sounds like it wants to bring DDR into the homes of middle america.

So I spent an exciting Saturday night cleaning my room. I can now use the surface of my desk again. And I retreived my filing cabinet from storage and organized all my papers, which was a time-consuming chore. I did find some interesting things in the process, though. Including the worst fortune cookie fortune I ever received: "Promote Literacy: Buy a case of fortune cookies today!" It reminded me of Fry's comments on Futurama, when the future-dwellers, surprised by Fry's reaction to finding ads in his dreams, asked if they had ads in the 20th Century: "Well sure, but not in our dreams. Only on TV and radio. And in magazines. And movies. And at ball games and on buses and milk cartons and t-shirts and written on the sky. But not in dreams. No siree!" For the most part, though I was just shuffling through old bank statements and credit card bills and magazine articles that seemed much more interesting when I cut them out. But my room is much more organized, though it begs the question, what personal-improvement task can I use to pass the time now?

After that exciting evening, it was an uneventful day at work, until just now when the police informed us someone left a dog parked in an SUV and that the dog is unresponsive. So Paula is off looking for the owners. Let's all hope they meet a similarly horrific end themselves. I mean, really, driving an SUV already suggests you're an asshole, then you kill your dog, what more does it take to prove you have no business on this Earth. I hate people so much sometimes.

My foot feels better. It hurt a bit yesterday after I'd been walking on it for awhile, heading back to my car after class. But today it doesn't seem to hurt at all. Just the same, I'm taking it easy today. I'll try running on it tomorrow, and see what happens.

I made dinner last night for myself and my mom, which was fun. It didn't turn out all that great, seeing as I had to make several substitutions, but it was alright, and it felt good to cook again. Mom does most of the cooking, and while I did make a few things while she was up visiting my sister, I really hadn't cooked much since moving back home. It felt like I was reclaiming a part of my life I missed. I went to Ranch 99 today to get some of the ingredients I did without yesterday, and am cooking again today. Maybe I'll bake a cake sometime, dig up my recipe for Maple Walnut Pear Cake, it used to be a holiday tradition (if two, or possibly three, years can constitute a tradition) to make it.

I also went to the farmer's market in La Mesa Friday. Got some really good oranges, and some okay snap peas, and spinach that wasn't really that exciting. And a few avocadoes that won't be ripe for a week or so, so I will withhold judgement. Overall, it wasn't that exciting, not a whole lot of selection and fairly high prices, but the oranges are so good, I'll probably be back for them if nothing else.

I put in an order to buy more stock of Fannie Mae come Tuesday. I was going to buy Southwest Airlines as well, but its price shot up on Friday, so I think I'll wait and see if it comes down a bit. I've become rather obsessive about watching the market lately. Partly its the inheritance I'm getting from Dad; its not a fortune, mind you, but its enough to pay off my high-interest debt and still have enough for emergency savings, and still invest a bit. I really like Sharebuilder, even if you can only buy stocks once a week; $4 a trade is hard to beat. But I think its helping me deal with Dad's death, too. He obsessed over the market himself, and I think taking my time and picking quality stocks makes me feel like I'm communing with him, rather than just feeling his absence. I feel funny spending a lot of time reading and thinking about the market, since I like to think that money isn't that important to me (which is true, though I suppose the lack of money is important to me). But I think in the end, its just a coping mechanism for me, along with a feeling of responsibility, of being a good steward for the resources he has given me. I like to think he'd approve of my stocks, though he always seemed to go for more esoteric stocks, while I've stuck to things I know and understand. I'm not a complete expert on Fannie Mae, mind you, but I'm learning a lot about how their business works, and I have the nice feeling that by investing in them, I'm supporting Fannie Mae's mission of making home ownership an option for the underclass.

I got up early this morning so I could fax some paperwork to my sister before she had to leave the office for a meeting, and then I went for a run. Like yesterday, I felt a real dearth of of energy at first (though I didn't have the tightness or pain I felt yesterday), and was concerned I was getting sick or overtraining, either of which would not be a good think with a race a week away. But after about 8 minutes or so, as I was heading home, I started feeling better, and decided not to cut my run short after all, and instead did some of the speed work I had intended to do yesterday. I didn't push myself quite as hard as I might, since I'm still somewhat concerned about my energy reserves for the 10-K, but my spirits were lifted. Going from about to quit to a respectably difficult run made me feel pretty good about myself. Then I stepped on a piece of wood with a nail in it. Hurt real bad for about two seconds, then it felt like my shoe was filling with blood. I wasn't far from home, so I just ran home real fast (I guess that counts as more speed work), and got my shoe off. Turns out there was very little blood, and the wound was a pretty clean in-and-out puncture wound, no tearing or anything. Still, it meant a trip to the doctors so I could get a tetanus shot. I don't know if I really needed it or not, but I'd rather pay $20 for a shot than end up with lockjaw. And now I'm covered for ten years. Of course, the wound can still get infected, but I think it'll be okay. Pisses me off, though, what sort of idiot leaves a board with a nail on it on the sidewalk? Dumbass.

Oh, I almost forgot...I didn't get to see my regular doctor, I saw his partner. He had a mullet. Did not exactly inspire confidence. I'm sorry, doctors (and lawyers and judges and nuclear physicists) of the world, but we expect more from you: Business up front, business all over. Leave the party in the rear to the truck drivers and tank wipes of the world.

Finally got Tanner out for some exercise yesterday, with the improving weather. Monika and I took him to Lake Murray. Figured anyplace else would be too muddy. Tanner got to socialize with a few dogs, see a few ducks, and I got to hear Monika tell me about how great Ohio is (she's moving there in a month).

Today, I worked, then went for a run, but it didn't go too well. First five minutes or so I was in pain, my calves were tight and then my shoulder started aching. I ran through that, and felt okay for a few minutes, but I just didn't have the energy for the run I had planned. I wanted to work on speed, but I just didn't have enough fuel to push myself, even for a minute or two. So I ended up just doing a 25 minute run at a pretty easy pace. I was running late and just had a yogurt for breakfast, and had a Lean Cuisine dinner called "Chow Mein," but which contained no noodles, so I must be missing something. I had a power gel before I ran, but it wasn't enough to make up the calories I should have been eating all afternoon. I plan to add a run in the morning, to keep on track for the upcoming 10-K. It seems like a good excuse to skip swimming, in any event.

I also enjoyed spending time sorting through Dad's paperwork, trying to figure out how much he paid for the variable annuity my sister and I inherited, for our taxes. It's all rather confusing, and Mom insists on watching me and "helping," which just makes things far, far worse, and then she just gets upset, and makes it all much more stressful then it need be. But we got it worked out. Knowing how fast Vanguard is with things, I'm thinking the check for the annuity might be in the mail tomorrow, which will be nice, both because I'll have plenty of cash in my coffers and I'll be essentially done with the paperwork involving Dad's affairs (a bit more around tax time next year, but that's it).

I learned today at work that the "movie ride" they installed last Summer, which was supposed to be free to us, with the outside contractor paying all the operating expenses, actually cost the aquarium $60,000. And no one rides it. That gave me a good chuckle.

I rather enjoyed today's McSweeney's article, on the Pope and new-age teachings. (If it is not today, you'll have to click through the archives at the bottom of the page to find it)

At last I can post without opening with an apology for not posting in so long. I'm supposed to be at Mardis Gras, but its raining and my friend cancelled, which is fine with me. I don't like crowds. Still, I was kind of looking forward to getting out and doing something social, figure broadening my horizons even in incredibly stupid ways must have an upside to it.

Monday was uneventful, yet again talked myself out of going for my morning swim. The whole day I seemed distracted, couldn't focus on anything, not quite sure why. Got some little projects done, almost everything I'd planned on doing that day, so that's good. Including listing some items on Half.com, including my Educational Archives DVDs. I found the boxed set with commemorative lunchbox on clearance for $44, had to have it. Nice lunchbox, even has a real thermos, so it was quite a find. Today I got notice that I've sold volume 1, Sex and Drugs, for about $19, so already I got the boxed set for well under the cost of the two volumes I didn't have. So that was nice.

Today I had work, and actually had a pretty good day. My boss gave me an extra parking pass he got from a member who had no need for it, due to having a handicapped placard, so I can park for free until they finish converting the parking lot into the new system, which should be a few months, I think. And it was a fairly slow day, I got to read and wasn't too crazed. La Jolla didn't get the rain too bad, and it was almost nice when I got off and went for my run. I registered for a 10K a week from Saturday, I'm not too sure I'm up to the challenge. That's okay, though, I know I can run that far, I just don't think my time will shatter any records. I just want to have a base time so I'll have a benchmark for my next 10-K. Right now, I really want to focus on more 5-Ks. I've improved in every one I ran except one, so I figure as long as I'm showing improvement at this level, why tackle tougher races? But this 10-K looks like fun, and there weren't any 5-Ks in March I felt like running in, so this should be a good source of motivation, and might keep me humble, too.

Since we didn't go to Mardis Gras, Chad and I went to Pat and Oscar's. Can't say I like it, even though it was my idea to go there(I had a coupon for free breadsticks). It ended up making me throw up, so I don't think I'll be back there. Though if a simple sandwich and some breadsticks could make me sick today, maybe its a good think I skipped the fried-food-and-liquor-palooza that is Mardis Gras. But still, it would've been nice to show off my now-pert man-boobs (I hoped losing weight would result in losing the tits; instead I've just gone from the rack of a 35-year-old woman to that of an 18-year-old girl, which I suppose is an improvement) for some beads.

I've updated the links on the side, I think...I kind of forget how blogger works. I changed 'em on my end, hopefully they made it to you.

Yet again a week goes by without an update. The least I can do is post a week-end wrap-up. Well, as Homer Simpson once observed, the least I could do is absolutely nothing, but I'll go you one better.

Rains this weekend interfered with many of my outdoor plans, but I still got some running done. Last Sunday, incidentally, I ran in the Torrey Pines 5K. Very hilly course, but I managed a PR of 21:42, first time I've come in under a 7-minute pace. I'm looking forward to my next flat 5K, seeing if I can do even better. But while I was able to get myself to run in the rain, swimming in the rain (or even when it wasn't), came more difficult. Difficult hear means it didn't happen. But between running and strength-training at the gym, I did okay. Just wish the weather had allowed me to include Tanner in a bit of my fitness profile.

I visited Dad's grave on Monday. I brought a sandwich from Subway, I wasn't sure if that was accepted protocol or not, but seemed appropriate enough to me. I don't think I'm the type that will be going to the cemetery very often; I don't really believe in burial and a lot of ceremony surrounding it. But it is a beautiful spot, and it is soothing to be there. I went to check out his tombstone. My mother was concerned it was too big. It's big, but I didn't think it was that bad. Actually going there seemed anti-climactic. I ate my sandwich and sat there a bit and thought about him, but overall it was an underwhelming experience. Having a visit scheduled help bring clarity to the days previous, however; so maybe I'll go again sometime.

I went to Barona Friday night, and again Saturday morning. A friend received a free hotel room offer in the mail (I, having been discovered a dirty cheating card-counter, no longer receive mail offers), and while not staying the night, got the room anyways, just to check out the new hotel. It's nice, an excellent value. I'm still going with Green Valley Ranch as the nicest hotel I've stayed at, but Barona compares favorably, especially at $59 vs. GVR's +$200 weekend price. The bed, which I lied on but did not sleep in, didn't feel particularly comfortable, and the toiletries I have since used were not that great; the soap dried my skin, and the various scents of the products seemed to have been assigned randomly, with no thought as to how they might gel together. The sliding door opening to a small balcony was a nice touch not often seen in a hotel-casino, and the seperate bath/shower (no seperate WC) is nice. Didn't bathe, so no opinion on water pressure. Understated color scheme, overall a classy joint. Unfortunatley the tables were too busy, and I ended up playing a slot machine to pass some time, and my compulsive tendencies emerged yet again, until I blew $600 fairly quickly. Wouldn't mind it at the tables, but on a slot machine, its embarassing. I was also annoyed that Chad played for so long, when he said he didn't want to stay very long, either. I ended up sitting in the room for almost two hours, watching a Discovery Channel program on hippo attacks while he gambled. Since we had the room until 11 AM, I invited my mother up for breakfast and to see the room. She was impressed. We had coffee in the room, then went to brunch, which was nice. I like their buffet, but no longer am raving about it as I was after my first time. I won $100 back that morning, at the tables, so that was nice. Saw some familiar faces from the old days when they knew me by name. Wondering how long before I get the good ol' 86. Of course, they'd be smarter to let me play to my heart's content, and be done in by a slot machine when my compulsions take over. The judo approach.

I need to write more often, I'm not good at rehashing things from a distance. But I think I covered most of the main points of the week. Hopefully I'll stay on top of things this time.

I must belatedly point out my major award. You can also see a somewhat old picture of me on the site, which is nice since I've still not bothered to upload any to this site.

Yet again, I apologize for not writing in this, so that you could not read it. I am going to try to write more regularly again, seeing as I have no real excuse not to. I'm only taking 4 units this quarter, I'm not working that much, and am not doing that much. I think my main excuse for not writing is that I figure I have to write about my father, and wasn't looking forward to that.

He died December 29th. I think the 6 days between receiving his terminal diagnosis and his actual death were harder than anything that has followed. I think it may have made the aftermath easier, having time to brace for it. I've since moved on with my life, of course, going back to school and work, but there is not much time when it is not on my mind. My mom is holding up well, which is a blessing. John is missed, though; today, we discovered that the front door to the house will not open (we usually use the side door). My mother and I debated whether the door is swollen from recent rain or if the house is slowly collapsing; Dad would know the cause. But he's gone, and we're learning a little more each day just what that really means. I think once Dad's affairs are settled, things might feel better. I'm getting a reasonably substantial inheritance (most goes to my mother, but my sister and I split an annuity, and I receive a small IRA), which will allow me to pay off most of my car debt (I could pay it all off, but why when I'm paying less that 5%?), with more left over to contribute to my IRA with some emergency savings left over. So I am not obsessing over the stock market just like Dad did, doing my homework with due dilligence to find a stock Dad would be proud of. For what its worth, if you're looking to invest, The Limited looks promising. But I digress. Like I told the school psychiatrist (figure if my tuition's paying for it, might as well use it), at least I was beginning to understand, even before he died, that I was my father's son.

I still just wish I could remember him better before he got sick. It's getting better. For awhile, I could only see him as he was in the hospital that last week, belly swollen with water because his gallblader and liver had shut down. His appearance once he was actually dead didn't look substantially different from how he looked the day before. But now at least I can see him more as he was for the bulk of his illness, including his good patches. We had fun together in Vegas the first time he was in remission. Perhaps he didn't walk as much as he usually did on vacations (he likes to tell about the time he ran across the freeway to get to the Rio), but it was almost like things were normal, and I got to show Dad how his son burns the tables. Having my father watch me blow through $1000 in about five minutes the first night of our trip was interesting. But I still have trouble looking back, remembering the Dad of my childhood.

I think that's enough on this topic. Perhaps now I'll update this more frequently. Perhaps I'll write about Dad some more, but now I can start talking about what else is going on in my life. And maybe get more into my life again. It's hard to tell, but I think I've become more secluded since Dad died. But I'm trying to get back into the swing, maybe having to write about what I'm up to will jumpstart the process.

It's been some time since I've written here...School has kept me busy, and I've kept myself busy, trying to get in shape, swimming, running and what-not. I've lost about 7 pounds, just so you know. Anyway, I've been meaning to write in this again with school being over and all, but found reasons not to, then I was quite sick for the last couple of days. Meant to get back in the swing of things now, when I get the news today that my father has about two days to live. So I don't think I'll be writing a whole lot tonight, but wanted to just jot a few things down in note of this news. It's very bizarre to think I won't have a dad anymore. I was never particularly close to my father, but I loved him and will miss him. And I really don't like this waiting, especially since he doesn't know he's dying (I mean, he knows, I think, but he hasn't been told the full extent of his illness). Anyway, looks like it will be a depressing Christmas this year.