The Onion's A.V. Club recently had one of their periodic round-ups of questionable food available at 99 cent stores, and lo and behold, they profiled Tiger cheese. Yes, a preservative-free cheese that doesn't require refrigeration is a tad disturbing, but it really is better than this article suggests. It tastes like my childhood. Trips down to the FedCo, where I would be rewarded for my not-too-horrendous behavior with a wheel of Tiger cheese to share with my sister. It had the same general flavor as string cheese, to my undeveloped taste buds, but a more pleasing texture. And as an added bonus, it came wrapped in foil, which was very exciting.

FedCo has been closed for many years, and so I doubted I would ever again see Tiger cheese, until one day I was at the 99 cent store, and stumbled upon the product, 99 cents a wheel. I bought about twenty. I gave them to my sister for her birthday. I was sure they were just using up the last of the FedCo surplus, and soon Tiger cheese would again be gone from my life. But the next time I was there, the cheese was there again, this time in a cardboard display case (a marketing plan no doubt developed after my purchase led them to detect a sudden upsurge in consumer demand). Having Tiger cheese in my life again was a joy, and I began dropping references to Tiger cheese into my conversation, as though all were aware of this fine product, and refusing to explain what Tiger cheese was to those who asked ("If you have to ask..."). Unfortunately, like Iron Chef, overexposure did in Tiger cheese for me, and I haven't had it in probably about two years. Methinks a trip to the 99 cent store is in order, to rekindle an old affair.

In other Onion A.V. Club features news, they have declared "Summer Girls" by LFO as amongst the best of the worst. Vindication for yours truly, who had the misfortune of getting a cassette single of the song stuck in my car's tape deck. It saved me some cash, as I was unwilling to buy a new car until I could remove the tape, and avoid the embarrassment of trading in my old car with the boy band anthem stuck inside. It really is a bizarre song; when I first heard it, I simply assumed it was a joke (a very funny one), for what else could it possibly be? I assumed it was a dead-on mockery produced by 2gether or someone similar. Yet somehow the fact that it was apparently earnest made it that much better. Sort of the Mrs. Miller of my day. Or maybe it was simply a trailblazer for "Lazy Sunday." Very strange stuff. I purchased the CD on half.com recently for a very low price, since the song is not available on iTunes. I can't say I care for anything else on the album ("Girl on TV" is their other hit), but it was nice to have a digital copy of the tune to replace my old cassette. And I wish Rich Cronin all the best in his comeback from leukemia.