Friday, March 18, 2005

School is now done for the quarter; handed in my last paper yesterday. Not much to do during finals week, most of the big stuff was due tenth week, but still I allowed myself to fall into the gentle lull of inertia and accomplish approximately nothing during the week. But now it's spring break, that exciting time of jury duty and blood donation, maybe even a haircut. Time to cut loose! Then I get to go back to school!

Tonight, Dateline has a full roster of very exciting exposes. Apparently, they have launced major investigations, which have revealed that travelling to third-world nations for cheap cosmetic surgery might not be the best idea. Furthermore, it appears some fraternities may encourage binge drinking (Hillel, I'm looking at you). But I thought I'd tear myself away from those shocking discoveries to finally write about my Vegas trip. It's been awhile now, so it's not that fresh in my mind, but I'll try to cover all the bases.

I left Thursday morning, around 10:30, a bit later than I planned. The drive was pleasant enough, especially as this was my first drive to Vegas since getting my iPod. I was surprised by the amount of interference I got with my FM transmitter, even in the open desert, but I managed mostly to get a pretty good sound. Idiots on the road, as ever, but I've certainly had worse drives. It definately helps to leave on Thursday rather than Friday. I had to stop by the Las Vegas Advisor's offices to pick up my coupon book along the way (I'm beginning to wonder whether it's worth the cost of a membership anymore--great if you use the 2-for-1 buffet coupons and cheap hotel room coupons, but I don't, and the gambling coupons are really getting chintzy), but was in my hotel room at Paris before 4:00. First time I've stayed at Paris in a room with one King-size bed, instead of two Queens. Which enabled me to compare it better with the rooms I've had at Bally's next door. The Paris room was very nice, with a nice little couch and overstuffed chair. The bathroom was very impressive, with a decent tub (which I don't think I ever used) and lots of room. I still think Bally's holds its own pretty well, though, and is the better value if you're paying for your room. I was only there one night, but had a good time. Great luck at the blackjack tables, if I had just left Vegas the next morning, I would have made out like a bandit.

Part of the reason I stayed at Paris the first night of my trip was to see a few of the sights on the strip. I wanted to check out the Conservatory at Bellagio, which I never seem to find the time to see. This time, I made a point of getting over there, and they were redecorating it for the season, so it was closed. But I did stop by Jean-Philippe Patisserie and check out the huge chocolate fountain, and get a crepe (with banana foster topping) and cafe au lait. A bit underwhelming for the price, I thought, but not bad, and not that outrageously priced by Bellagio standards. Next time, I'll bring a bottled water with me and skip the overpriced coffee.

For the evening entertainment, I decided to take the monorail on my first visit ever to the Sahara Casino. As I anticipated, the casino is kind of crappy. Nothing terribly wrong with it, it just pales in comparison to the strip. It's like being downtown, except everything is priced like it's on the strip. Except for the free entertainment, which is what brought me there. I had heard good things about the Casbar Lounge, and wasn't disappointed. I've checked their schedule the last few times I went to Vegas, but this was the first trip my visit coincided with one of Lena Prima's shows. Lena is Louis Prima's daughter, and performs a 90-minute tribute to her father. The show is absolutely free, with no drink minimums (there's no cocktail service, you have to bring your booze with you--there's a two-for-one drink coupon in the fun book you get for joining the player's club). At the price, I can recommend it without reservation. I wasn't blown away by the band at first. They were good, but Vegas is overrun with very talented musicians. But they grew on me, and when they tore into "Sing, Sing, Sing" (who knew Louis Prima wrote that?), you could tell there was real talent there (you can't fake a drum solo like that). Lena Prima herself is just okay, again a very good lounge singer in a city teeming with excellent lounge singers. But again, she too grew on me a bit. I really enjoy Louis Prima's music, and I imagine that your opinion of his songs will determine if you enjoy the show. They show lots of clips from Louis' television appearances (most of which also include Lena's mother, Gia Maione), too many, in my opinion. There was a rather large block of footage from Ed Sullivan, which was all good material, but probably could've been broken up more through the course of the evening. But hey, the show's free, and a lot of fun, so why nitpick? The lounge was about 80% full on a Thursday evening, so no need to get there too early to get a seat (maybe fifteen minutes early if you've got a group and want to get your own table). I did notice the crowd was on the older side, though a few people my age eventually stumbled in and seemed to enjoy themselves.

If I was in town again and Lena Prima was performing, I might go back and see the show, but I'd have to think long and hard about it. I hate the Sahara. Like I said above, it's Downtown grime with Strip prices. After the show, I was starving, and figured I'd just buy food there then taking the monorail back to Paris and seeing about a dinner comp. The cafe looked alright, but a bit overpriced, and the mexican place was way too expensive (competitive for Mexican food in a Vegas restaurant, but I refuse to pay $5 for a taco, when I know it will be disappointing compared to the $1.50 taco back home). So I decided to get a personal pizza at the coffee shop. $6.50, I think it was. I asked how much a soda was, was told $2.50. So I asked for a glass of tap water, and was told that would be fifty cents. I was so stunned, I just said okay. That's the sort of think that would send me out the door back home, but I was on vacation and didn't want to get into a thing with the guy, and was starving and didn't want to leave, so I just said okay. The pizza was okay, but I was pissed off when I realized later that I had a 20% off coupon in the fun book the casino gave me earlier. I did win $10 in the casino, though I gave the dealer a $5 tip because I felt sorry for her working in such a dump (I actually won quite a bit at that table, after losing my money at video poker). And the monorail cost me $6 (they no longer offer discounts on round-trips). So the show wasn't exactly free. But I had fun, and am glad I went.

I got up Friday morning, checked out of the hotel and loaded my luggage into the trunk. Then I went and had Paris' breakfast buffet. Wasn't real hungry, but still got more then enough food to make it worthwhile. Since I had a crepe for dinner the night before (the cost of the crepe alone at Bellagio pays for about half the breakfast buffet), so I got an omelette instead, as well as a bowl of mixed berries with yogurt, some cantelope, french toast, smoked salmon and bagels, coffee and lots of other breakfast foods, any one plateload of which would cost as much as the buffet at any strip eatery. Paris doesn't have a lot of 99 cent specials, but I still think they have some of the best food values on the strip, when you want quality food. Sadly, I didn't go to the buffet close enough to lunchtime to enjoy the changeover and get some lunch foods. I always like to have the bouillabaisse, which has an almost spiritual resonance with me, ever since my dad and I went there and we both couldn't get enough of it. But no bouillabaisse this time. But that's okay, it's still one of the best ways to start your day.

I was spending the weekend at Green Valley Ranch, so I began heading in that direction, stopping at the Hard Rock Casino along the way (I meant to stop by the Westin on the way, as well--they have a great deal where you get $60 in slot play for $30 when you join the players club--but I forgot). I thought I'd been there before, but once I was inside, it all looked new to me. Not bad, as far as the gambling was concerned. I found the decor a bit tacky, and the place is definately about an "American Idol" version of rock and roll. And I got my clock cleaned at the blackjack table. But if I ever got a free room offer in the mail, I might give the hotel a shot. A bit away from the hustle and bustle of the Strip, but just a few blocks away if you want to check it out.

I arrived at Green Valley Ranch just a bit ahead of my 3:00 check-in time, but figured (correctly) I could get my room early. I've never been able to figure out where to park without hiking through the entire casino to get to the hotel lobby. I thought I was parking closer than usual, but ended up by the movie theaters and had to go up stairs and then through the entire casino. I guess I should just use the valet next time. But I suppose it helped burn off the Paris buffet, and I saved a buck or two in tips. I got a room in the new tower, which opened a few months back. I was glad to see I didn't need to sneak past the bouncer of the Whiskey Sky to get to my room, as you used to have to in the old tower. The new tower has a nice lobby, and shows all the class of the original tower ("tower" is the traditional parlance of Vegas, but these aren't really towers--the original is four stories, I think, and the new six--and while the service, I think, suffers from just a bit of a loss in the "personal touch" department, this is still a fantastic hotel that treats you right). I took the elevator to my floor, a spacious elevator of dark oaks, with a television monitor showing nature scenes and playing soothing new-age music. I suppose this is to calm people, like me, who get nervous in elevators. It showed an image of a dove in flight, except it seemed superimposed on a static background, so that he was just hovering, trapped at one level, unable to gain or decend, no matter how much he tried. The screens in the other elevator I took had apparently broke, so I got the far more soothing sight of exposed wiring, which always inspires confidence. Getting to my room took awhile, being a good ways down the hall. But it lived up the standards set by the original rooms. The layout is basically the same, though the little breakfast nook is now just along one wall of the main room. Nothing's changed in the bathrooms, with a deep, long tub and separate shower, a water closet and a marble sink. It's all very luxurious, and very spacious, and this bathroom is probably about 60% of what makes Green Valley Ranch my favorite hotel, in Vegas or elsewhere. The beds and pillows figure prominately into that equation as well (though I never sleep well on vacation, anywhere), and the new Bose Wave radios they introduced to the new rooms was a nice new bonus (I wouldn't pay $500 for one, but I was impressed with the way the sound carries, still sounding full in the bathroom). All in all, I was as impressed with the room as I always was by the old rooms.

One problem with Green Valley Ranch is it's location. When I stay there, I usually resolve myself to more or less not leaving, and this trip I never did. Which means you're stuck with the food choices here, which have never impressed me. I love Il Fornaio, and the Original Pancake House isn't bad. But the rest of the restaurants are rather uninviting, overpriced, and underwhelming. But I had a $100 food credit from the casino, so I had plenty of chances to reevaluate the dining options. I was especially excited at the prospect of gourging myself on sushi, as I remembered thinking Sushi + Saki was pretty good the first time I ate there.

For dinner the first night, I went to China Spice. It's a bit overpriced, I remembered from previous trips, but decent quality. I ordered the chow fun, and a bowl of hot and sour soup. I was surprised that the soup was actually quite spicy, which is as it should be, I suppose, though most places keep it on the mild side, in my experience. It had a strange flavor to it, but I enjoyed it. The chow fun was decent, not exciting, but if I wanted an exciting dinner I wouldn't have ordered chow fun. I ate about half, and saved half for a late-night snack. If you're at Green Valley Ranch and craving chinese food, eat here, but I wouldn't go out of my way to eat here.

Gambling the first night was a little rough. I lost most of my winnings from Paris, but rallied to win about half of it back. No real memorable hands from the first day spring to mind. Perhaps there were no hands of note that day, or perhaps one painfully memorable hand from Saturday night has blocked the rest out, I don't know. But I retired to my room around 1:00 and took a nice bath (I'm a tall man, and just love it when I take a bath and submerge my entire body from the neck down without becoming a contortionist), then slept well.

The next day I took another bath, hid all the toiletries in my travel bag so the maid would replace them, and went down to gamble a bit. I had lunch at Il Fornaio, and was again impressed. On a previous visit I had a tuna salad special that was amazing, so I again went with a tuna appetizer, a tuna-bean salad with arugula which was mighty tasty. I had the chicken cannelloni for the main course. I am usually more impressed, when dining in real classy italian restaurants, with the appetizers and desserts than with the actual pasta dishes. I guess it's because I'm from the Chef Boyardee generation, but I prefer limp pasta and sweet tomato sauces. But this meal was absolutely fantastic. The rotisserie chicken stuffing with sun-dried tomatoes and various cheeses was complemented nicely with the bechamel sauce. The only complaint was with the marinara sauce, which just tasted rather flat. But the marinara was not the focus of this dish, so it hardly mattered. Again, I have to conclude Il Fornaio is the only thing which makes dining at Green Valley Ranch memorable. I decided to skip desert, and maybe have desert at their bar that evening.

I went back up to my room, which housekeeping took care of while I had lunch. One strange thing: There was a burnt-out match on the floor of my bathroom. I had a non-smoking room, of course, and can't figure out why the maid would have lit a match in my room. I thought it could have fallen out of her cart from when she serviced a smoking room, but I think they usually have those on different floors. Of course, given my subsequent luck in the casino, the match could have been part of a bizarre ritual to put a hex on me (which seems out of line since I tip my housekeepers--I don't envy anyone who has to clean up after me). Sure enough, that afternoon the cards turned ugly. By the time I was getting hungry for dinner, I was down a pretty decent sum. But I remembered the last time I had sushi at Green Valley Ranch, I was losing, and then returned to the tables after dinner and won a cartload of cash. So I went to dinner with high hopes for the night.

I had peeked into the restaurant a few times earlier and found few people, but by the time I ate at 8:00, Sushi + Saki was pretty busy. On weeknights, they have an all-you-can-eat option that seems like a pretty good deal, but it's not available on the weekends, so I was ordering a la carte. A bit pricy, but pretty typical Vegas sushi prices. I waited about fifteen to twenty minutes for my food, and despite my previous experience, wasn't impressed. The asparagus roll was quite good, but the fish just seemed to be of poor quality, especially the tuna and yellowtail. Of course, I wasn't picking up the tab, so I didn't feel too outraged, but I still had to pay the tip on the $35 tab, so it did cost me something. If you're at Green Valley Ranch, have a comp, and want sushi, eat here. The all-you-can-eat deal seems to be a damn fine deal (haven't taken advantage of it yet myself). But I have to say, I was disappointed.

So, did the sushi change my luck? You could say that. I actually won a bit of cash soon afterwards, but there was one hand that would overshadow my wins. The blackjack tables at Green Valley Ranch (some of them, anyways) have a side bet called Lucky Ladies, where you bet a dollar up to twenty-five dollars, and if you get dealt a twenty on your first two cards, it pays four-to-one. There are other, bigger payouts, for suited hands, or hands of two identical cards. The biggest payout is for two Queens of Hearts, and if you get dealt two queens of hearts, and the dealer has a blackjack that hand, you win the big payout, up to $10,000 (if you bet $10 or more). This is an awful, awful bet, with about a 25% house edge, and you should never, ever make the bet. Of course, if you ever got dealt the big winning hand, you'd be heartbroken, but that will never happen. Yet it did. I pick up my cards, see I have twenty, then register that I have two Queens of Hearts. I turn over my cards and let loose with a chortle, poining out to everyone what my cards were. The table lets loose with gasps, which I thought were a bit much until I look at the dealer's up card, an ace. My chin drops, and I stare on as the dealer peeks under the ace and flips over the blackjack. A $1 would have paid $1,000, a $10 bet, $10,000 (they cap the maximum payout at $10,000, so when you see people betting $25 on the side bet--and people do--you can safely conclude they are morons). Now, this was a fun table, full of people junk drunk enough to be amusing but not aggressive or nasty. So we talked about the hand for some time (and the dealer assured me I'll be the talk of their break room for the day). Some people had been making the bet off and on (the guy two seats down from me had the bet out the hand I got dealt the two Queens), and we all concluded that, had one of them got the hand without the bet out, that would have been a tragedy, but since I never make the bet, it's not such a big deal. And it really wasn't a big deal, but it was fun to have the table ganging up on me with a bit of good-natured ribbing. And when I got home, I could tell people I lost $10,000. I played about an hour longer, then decided to ease the pain with some dessert. The bar was full at Il Fornaio, but there were plenty of tables open, so I had a seat and ordered the old standby, Tiramisu. Not the best I've ever had, but pretty damn good nonetheless. My waitress brought out the dessert cart, and everything looked great. Later, I began to regret I didn't order the Crema al Doppio Gusto, a sort of creme brulee combined with chocolate mousse. But there's always next time.

As I mentioned, the same session where I "lost" $10,000, I won a bit of money, and continued to win after my dessert break (and another bath). I got back to even, up a fair amount, and then played down to a point where I was ahead by a modest amount of money. I did have the interesting experience of having other people tell me my own story, as a player explained about the poor bastard that missed out on winning ten grand, embellishing a bit (apparently I tried to slip the bonus bet out on the felt when the dealer wasn't looking--I was waiting for him to get to the part where I drown myself in Whiskey Beach). I tried to explain to him, several times, that it happened to me, but he was too drunk to grasp that. Around this point in the evening, a cavalcade of obnoxious drunks began appearing at my table in a regular rotation. Few things annoy me as much in a casino as players who get angry with the dealer because they lose. No one is forcing you to gamble, if you want to be mad at someone, be mad at yourself. But again and again people would sit down at my table, lose two hands, announce that they have just suffered the worst losing streak in human history, and then claim that the dealer was born out of wedlock or a female dog, or just throw a few cards at her. So, in light of the annoying patrons, I figured I had a decision to make. I could decide my gambling for the trip was done, and not risk losing the last insignificant remnants of my once-mighty winnings, I could continue playing that night and try to build up more respectable winnings, or I could make my last stand in the morning. The last two were risky, not only because I could lose my winnings, but because, psychologically, I could go "on tilt," chasing after my losses to try to get back where I was, where I could have left town a winner, and end up losing a lot. I'm generally above such things, of course, but it has happened. So I decided not to take any unnecessary risks, and ended the gambling portion of my vacation. My plan was to have breakfast at the Original Pancake House and hit the road.

In the morning, I wasn't really that hungry. Also, I noticed my host had already settled my bill for me, so I would have to go down to the front desk and settle the bill again if I wanted my breakfast comped, too. And I was eager to hit the road, so I just had some coffee in my room, and was on the road around 10:30. Driving out of town, it occured to me I had a coupon for a free champagne brunch in Jean, Nevada. So I decided to eat there. For free, it's a very good deal. The buffet is not much beyond a continental breakfast, so the strawberry blintzes were pretty good. But you also can order an entree, and the french toast I chose was fantastic. They describe it in the menu as though it was real haute cuisine, with vanilla and Grand Marnier amongst the flavors added to the batter, the same way many restaurants try to make their french toast sound unique. But in this case, the description fit the bill, it was quite rich and flavorful. And the mimosa wasn't bad. I think the cost without the coupon would have been $8.99, which while not officially a bargain, is not a bad deal, either. Yet another of those things where, if you've already stopped there, you might as well eat it, but don't go too far out of your way. Me, I don't like stopping in Jean because I'm either very close to arriving in Vegas, or just leaving Vegas and eager to make good time. But Jean has always had good food deals. And even with that unscheduled breakfast stop, I still made good time. There was traffic in the desert, but not bad at all for a Sunday. I made it home by 4:30, if memory serves.

Overall, a fun trip, though not particularly lucrative. But I did win money, had some good food, relaxed a bit before finals, and got a little story about losing $10,000 with which to amuse my fellow gamblers. Ultimately, I have to conclude it was poor timing for the trip. I had a lot on my plate the following week, and not enough time to do it all. I should have been working on term papers that weekend, not gambling. But to be fair, I booked the trip before one professor moved up a due date a week, to the Wednesday after I got back. So that messed up my plans a tad. We'll see, when grades come out, if I paid a price for the trip. But I don't really regret going. Lena Prima's concert, the Paris buffet, listening to Sam Bush on Prairie Home Companion in my room at Green Valley Ranch, lunch at Il Fornaio, a bad beat on the Lucky Ladies bet, brunch in Jean, and a bit more cash in my pocket than when I drove into town; who could complain about that?

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