Bob Barr running for president.

Clinton "misspoke" about sniper fire. As if there weren't enough reasons not to vote for her, I have to say I am extremely uneasy about voting for any candidate whose concentration in office might be diverted due to what I can only imagine is the immense psychological stress involved in having a public feud with Sinbad.

Chris Wallace defends Obama, creates awkward moment on Fox and Friends. Can't wait to see Colbert's take on this one; apparently Steve Doocy was hurt by the confrontation, but if Wallace upset brown-haired-guy-who's-not-Steve-Doocy, there could be hell to pay on the Report.

UPDATE: The video is here. Oh, and it looks like Colbert is in reruns this week.

In landmark speech, Gallant distances himself from Goofus.

Geraldine Ferraro revealed as a hateful bigot. The surprises of this campaign just keep coming. I mean, Jesus Christ: "If Obama was a white man, he would not be in this position?" "I will not be discriminated against because I'm white?" These are things that a klansman says, not a trailblazing woman's right pioneer.

Anyway, I'd been meaning to say something about my growing disgust with the primary, and my decision that I will not vote for Clinton if she gets the nomination, and this bizarre turn is as good a time as any. I voted for Obama, but came slowly to his side. I thought I would support whoever got the nomination. I never considered voting for Clinton in the primary, because she voted for the war. But so did Kerry, and I voted for him in the '04 general election. Of course, that was an "anyone but Bush" vote, but it set a precedent that would benefit Clinton, that I could vote for someone despite their vote at that one pivotal moment.

But as the primaries went on, and it became obvious that Clinton would have a hard time winning the popular vote, or the elected delegate count, I decided that, if Clinton won the nomination in an anti-democratic matter, I would vote for McCain, for the sake of the long-term health of the Democratic Party (it would be so nice if, for just one election cycle, the Democrats could get their shit together; how come we can only retake Congress when Republicans take bribes or try to bone a page). But as it was all but impossible for Clinton to take the nomination by any way other than superdelegate shenanigans, I wondered if I needed to qualify the statement at all, or if I could simply say, I will not vote for Hillary Clinton? And as her campaign got dirtier and sleazier, it became easier and easier to accept that statement, and I make it now: I will not vote for Hillary Clinton. Ever. For anything.

In a way, it's an easy decision. I feel very strongly about the death penalty, and would be a single-issue voter on that issue alone, if there were actual candidates advancing my position. The problem is, when there are, they're generally long-shots (Kucinich), or empty protests (Nader), which tend to make opposition to the death penalty a fringe issue, at a time when the public is finally turning against the institution. So I've accepted the political reality that I will vote for candidates that support the death penalty, within reason. In fact, the only notable vote I made on the basis of the death penalty was my decision to vote against Bill Clinton's reelection, when I cast my very first vote, ever. Clinton signed off on the execution of Ricky Ray Rector, whom Clinton deemed fit for execution, and capable of understanding what was happening to him, a judgment belied by Rector's decision, eating his final meal, to save his pie for "later." Clinton had no qualms killing a man, in our name, to prevent himself from being "Willie Horton-ed" going into the New Hampshire primary. I could not in good conscious vote for this man.

And now his wife is running, who lobbied hard as first lady for her husband's crime bill, which expanded the death penalty. Combine that with her willingness to say and do anything to win (Bill Clinton cabinet member Robert Reich has expressed shock that she would actually suggest that her Republican rival is more qualified to be President than the current Democratic front-runner), and I can't help but think that the Democratic Party, and democracy itself, is better off with Hillary Clinton as far removed as possible. Obama is now the rightful Democratic nominee, and Clinton's dirty campaigning shows her to be as concerned with the health of the Democratic Party as Joe Lieberman is. Go away, Hillary.

Two points, in fairness to Hillary: First, Barack Obama is for the death penalty. Again, I have come to terms with the notion of voting for death penalty proponents, as long as, unlike Bill Clinton, they're not untowardly bloodthirsty about it. And second, the Democrat primary rules are fucked up, and that's not Clinton's fault. Doesn't let her off the hook for exploiting them to keep her doomed campaign alive, but still, something needs to be changed. That Democrats deploy both superdelegates and proportional representation in the primary process is beyond absurd; proportional representation heightens the democratic nature of candidate selection, while superdelegates stand against the popular will. You pick one or the other. By using both, the Democratic Party guarantees, once there's a close primary, all hell breaks loose. Which is another reason not to vote for Clinton: If she's President, no way in hell is she letting them change that process on her watch.

Colbert is running for president. I'm a bit uncertain about this. I enjoyed watching him, on the interview circuit promoting his book, goad various interviewers into asking him if he has presidential ambition, only to act agog at the question, like many a candidate before him. But an actual campaign just seems gimmicky. I'm tempted to mention Pat Paulsen as a cautionary example, but it's hard to fault someone for following in the Smothers Brothers' footsteps. So godspeed, Colbert.

The other day, I speculated that Colbert would approve of Lou Dobb's leprosy comments. Getting caught up on my TV viewing, I see he's already tackled the issue:

Okay, so this is where there was supposed to be a video embedded from the Comedy Central website, but the first video I put up was the wrong one, and now I can't find the right one. So you'll just have to use your imagination. Hey Viacom, maybe you should spend less time suing YouTube and try to make your web site barely functional.

Alberto Gonzales keeps sinking lower and lower in my estimation. When people tell damning stories about you that cast John Ashcroft in an almost heroic light, relatively, that does not say much for your character.

Congress acts decisively against the Mooninite threat with the Terrorist Hoax Improvements Act of 2007. Thank you, Congress, for acting to improve our terrorist hoaxes.

It turns out that Deputy Secretary of State Randall Tobias really loves two things: abstinence-only sex education, and whores.

Al D'Amato, poker lobbyist. I never thought I'd live to say it, but, God bless you, Mr. D'Amato.

Is your trip necessary? Of course it is. That Slurpee isn't going to drive itself to your house.

I certainly didn't vote for him, but I believe in giving credit where credit is due, so I will acknowledge that Gov. Schwarzenegger's health care proposal looks promising.

Ann Richards, dead at 73.