The Onion AV Club reports that Lou Pearlman's possessions are for sale on eBay. Feel free to shop early for my birthday.

Incidentally, if I were morbidly obese (not there yet, give me a year or two), I don't think I would collect blimps. Just seems like asking to be ridiculed.

Lou Pearlman arrested in Bali, facing fraud charges. If you squint a bit, you can pretend Karl Rove's being hauled off to jail. Hell, you don't even really need to squint.