Art Madrid, my esteemed mayor, a big stinking drunk. Police found him collapsed on a sidewalk near a puddle of his own vomit, and decided to take him home rather than cite him. A city employee less than half his age was also intoxicated, and in the driver's seat of a car with the engine running. She also was not arrested. The city council had a special session to discuss allegations of special treatment; my favorite revelation from the meeting (shown on public access television) was that the night Madrid chose to get liquored up and ride shotgun with a drunk, he was a no-show at a traffic safety meeting he was scheduled to attend in that very neighborhood.